Sex Life Blogs / Morning Toughts #3 Sex Is our most primal i..

Sex Life Blogs / Morning Toughts #3 Sex Is our most primal instinct. In some ways our primal instincts are the most pleasurable. Like food is primal to keep us alive. And we crave fat sugar and salty foods because they are the most dense foods, they have the most energy to keep us alive. But what has built our human civilization that we have today is our ability to use our brains to have influence over our prime instincts. I think the struggle of being human is this precise ability. Because if we are torn too far from our primal instincts we lose touch with the joy of life.. But when we only rely on primal instincts we lose touch with our humanity.. and civilization breaks down. Not only that. Our big brains also have the ability to trick us into wanting to engage in the things that give us pleasure far more than is optimal for us.. whereas animals that only follow their primal instincts don't have this problem. This is why as humans we create agreements. Rules and laws that everyone agrees will organize these primal and human instincts in such a way that human civilization can still flourish. I am thinking about it this morning in regards to human touch. As a woman touch is what I crave most. Sex is fun but touch is sublime. When I became single after my long religious monogamous touch starved marraige (with no prior dating experience-it was all arranged) I realized how much fun it was to hang out with the boys! The boys wanted to hug and kiss and touch as much as possible! I didn't know boys were like that! But they always wanted sex. I didn't love them that way.. This became the biggest frustration. How do I get to hang out with the boys and get all the touch and attention without the sex!! Why'd they always want to stick it somewhere!! Suddenly I understood why the world was so touch phobic.. Ok I know I sound very naive.. but hey I went to an all girls school in a town where men and woman have to walk on opposite sides of the street!! So in my explorations I discovered sensual touch.. Sensual Touch is human but also allows for primal instincts to arise. Yet the human agreement is to not necessarily act on those primal instincts. The primal instinct of a man is to want to be allowed in. He feels rejected when he cannot. But his human mind can tell him.. it isn't as much a rejection but a human agreement to engage in touch that does not have to end in sex.. Bec touch is healing and nourishing for both men and women.. for the human part of us that needs affection and connection.