PART 3 When we arrived in the village, at first it was diff..

PART 3 When we arrived in the village, at first it was difficult for me to adapt. I was under pressure that this was not my home and I felt obliged for the help. There were often thoughts "am I useful enough?". And I was worried that I didn't have the strength to be active in the household. Anya took on a lot of commitments and was a great cook. I connected and helped her, but I was embarrassed that I didn't cook. I don't have a lot of recipes in my head and it's hard for me to think of what to cook. Before the war, I ate from delivery and ordered groceries from the supermarket at home. I tried to compensate for this with the money I managed to get in the last few days while there was Internet. But we all were close and monitored each other's condition. It was difficult for Anya, her family was in Mariupol and she was tracking all the news from there. The connection with her loved ones was cut off and she did not know if they were alive. It affected all of us. But we managed to have fun and arrange small holidays. We often listened to music, sometimes danced. We tried to make a variety. Food and alcohol were available entertainment. I ate along with everyone else, but as for me, it was probably too much. For all the time I gained 5-8 kilograms and so far I can't lose weight in any way. Pasha became a separate story. When we first moved in, the house was cold. There were only two beds and we had to sleep with Pasha together. I was even a little outraged why no one thought it was uncomfortable for me. I have a relationship, I don't want to sleep in a single bed with another guy under the same blanket. There was also the matter of Pasha, who really did not put pressure on me and it bribed. In general, a couple of nights in an embrace and sexual tension appeared between us. I remember rubbing myself against his knee, and then I started crying because I was not the person who was going to cheat. I actually liked my past relationships. It has always been important to me that I don't cheat and end a relationship or tell a partner that I have feelings for someone else. But that's how it happened and I was sad about it. I still held on so strangely, you can hold my chest, but you can't kiss me). But then it started, of course. I talked to Zhenya only 3 weeks later, I wanted him to finish the story of his grandfather's funeral first and return to city, where he has friends. Falling in love gave optimism. I also looked at the stars in a special way and thought, "That's it, now I'm definitely an adult."