I was talking about why some birth controls make some people..

I was talking about why some birth controls make some people less inclined to seek sexual encounters recently and how to overcome that, and I was asked if I knew what could be done at menopause to encourage women to enjoy sex again. I’m not menopausal quiiite yet 😉 But I know many women in different stages of life and this is what I know. For a start, it’s entirely possible to love sex as a menopausal woman! Menopause is caused by a decline in sex hormones, marking the end of a woman’s fertile period. Whilst the hormone causing women to feel less likely to initiate sex on birth control is an increase in progesterone, in menopausal women progesterone drops and it’s a steep drop in sex hormones altogether causing a lack of desire. BUT everything else still works like it always has. We’re just a bit less likely (although some still do!) at that time to fantasise erotically or seek sex, because the hormones telling us to do so are less prevalent. Orgasms will still feel good, but it might just take different things to get the fire going. If your partner is menopausal, make time to talk about sex together and in a relaxed and open way. Listen to why she may be concerned about sex without giving any pressure or telling her what it would mean to you (she knows). What would *she* need to enjoy sex? Maybe orgasm takes longer now and a different kind of foreplay is required. Maybe she’s tired and the time of day she enjoys sex has changed. Maybe she’s scared you feel unloved, or upset at how her body has changed. Maybe the pressure to have sex dampens any desire that arises (a chore never feels as good). But sexual good times can be had. She will need to feel understood so you can bond and then work through things together. And I’d say for sure (if it’s an option available to you) a sex/relationship therapist is qualified to ask the right questions and see through the semantics to help you both communicate what you need and would like effectively and deal with the impulsive thoughts (coz ya’ll, sometimes these bigger conversations feel like we just can’t get on the same page!). Communication and a desire and commitment from you both to build a relationship you each love will be the way forward 💙