***BLOG: Curious chameleon - How I flipped the switch on sex..

***BLOG: Curious chameleon - How I flipped the switch on sex*** Are you dominant or submissive? Check a box. The question burns brightly from my screen. Suddenly, the shiny new dating app promising me my happily-ever-after, turns hostile. Since when did such finite BDSM terms define dating prospects? More a fan of subtly smooshing my sexual curiosities into the 150-word 'other interests' box, I thought choosing a profile picture where I'm not covered in my kid's food or vom was a challenge. I fucking hate labels - there, I said it. So, I have one murky, yet brilliantly colourful answer. A little bit submissive and a little bit dominant, I am a switch. I'm a raspberry ripple gelato, a swirl of sexuality, and it's taken me over a decade to get there. Honestly, are we now so unhinged, that we can't get our head's round the idea that sexual curiosity is beautiful and to be explored? Why can't it be second nature to brandish a paddle one minute, and bend over, holes spread the next? Borne from the BDSM community, the concept of dominance and submission can feel intimidating: the almost purest belief that one's sexual preference must sit firmly at one extreme to be authentic. While this is often true of the dom/domme / sub dynamic, switches embrace multiple facets across the spectrum. As the chameleons of sexual curiosity, we prefer to perch, colours changing to reflect our environment and emotions. Switch sex doesn't have to be all whips and chains, collars and caging (though this can be fun!). I like to think of it more as a dirty rubix cube with endless combinations to experience. The true beauty however, lies in the freedom to connect and 'be' whatever the mind and body craves in the moment. Sex becomes more of a dance; determined by emotion, need, and desire. While switching doesn't always involve sex or love, I am truly blessed to have found both in my partner, @mauveeagle646 . In past relationships, I've almost always been expected to assume a more submissive role. As a petite (once-upon-a-time) female, it seemed that my ability to 'bottom' was assumed and not up for discussion. I kept my desire for bisexual / curious men, a dirty little secret for over 10-years, containing my fantasies to the wankbank. Most men that I dated were fearful of being labelled gay or bisexual for enjoying anal play, which was devastating. Several fruitless hookups later, I lost all faith of finding love and the sexual openness I so desperately craved. Fast-forward three years and Mauve has changed all that. I've never felt more connected, safe and fulfilled. The fact that I can peg the living shit out of him one minute, and be cosied in his arms the next, is testament to that. For Mauve and I, dominance plays out anywhere from soft and sensual teasing and edging, through to spitting, bondage and throat control. I'm a pleasure queen softie at heart and feel at my most powerful when in control of Mauve's pleasure and release - edging is my ultimate turn-on. Mauve's dominance has a slightly harder edge - he likes to restrain and feel me relent under his physical strength (with full consent of course!). Whatever mood we're in, anal is always high on the list though. Whether using, or being used, we love it all - rimming, tongue fucking and prostate play, plugs, pegging and raw fucking. That's not to say that sexual flexibility comes without its challenges. If we're both in a more dom state of mind for example, I naturally find myself adopting a more provoking 'bratty' role, pushing Mauve's limits. Combined submission is also fire though. Much of our most romantic love-making comes from this mutual desire to be held and taken. As creators, our sex life isn't entirely normal. It's our job to produce and churn-out exciting, boundary-pushing content for fans. And whilst not every kink or fetish floats our boat, getting creative and shooting new experiences is a lot of fun!