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My Master explaining to me after I complained that I was too..

My Master explaining to me after I complained that I was too weak during the 200 strikes to my bum and back last Sunday that it isn't about how hard he hits me, it is about how much I suffer for him. Of course.. this still made me want to prove i could suffer more for him. But he also explained that even that, the fact I'm struggling with my struggling makes it better for him. I am so grateful. Thank you Master. I think in time I will overcome this urge to return to the times where I would stay still and reserved and accept the pain, I will let go my need to prove myself "strong". And suffer openly and as much as he wants. That should be my real goal. Trying to stay reserved... But accepting and embracing breaking for him. Screaming and crying for him. Giving it all up for him and whatever he wants to take on too of that. When I lose my own self control, then he truly has everything.

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