another diary post I’ve now been struggling with either be..

another diary post I’ve now been struggling with either being sick or trying to recover from being sick and then getting stressed out and getting sick again since December 2. I am probably going to stop doing collabs because of this. It sucks, it’s one of the best parts of the job, but I just can’t seem to get other people to care about my health. It makes me feel taken advantage of and cast aside, and I’m over it. I don’t know if or when I’ll be returning to collabs, or if it will just be with friends that I know are safe people. Cassie, Lana, Rylie… but my mainstream dreams are probably RIP now. I’m just beyond frustrated and being sick makes it really hard to feel sexy. I had strep from Dec 2-23, struggled to recover for 2 weeks, then had to move and had every single symptom return, landing me in urgent care twice and the hospital once. I wanted to be back to content creation this week for Valentine’s Day but now I’m having a post-viral reaction to my own body again… MCAS is fun that way lol. I guess I’ll be going back to being a solo creator with occasional b/g videos—you guys do not pay me enough for my boyfriend to be able to quit his job and film with me full time, lol—and it sucks, it’s not what I want, I know I’ll lose subs and my income will take a considerable hit (which really sucks considering the hospital bill I mentioned, and having just moved into a new place and incurring all those costs), but I don’t have a choice in the matter anymore. Maybe there will be times when I can convince other people to care about my long term health, but frankly the world doesn’t care about disabled people as long as we’re asking for accommodations, and asking the people around me to be careful and wear a mask is a disability accommodation that they have the power to decline. And that’s their right, and I can’t do anything else to convince them but ask them to please spare my life. Covid aside, care about the people around you, I beg. Wear a mask. Don’t be around other people if you feel under the weather in any degree—I never got Covid, but I got multiple other viral infections. Immune compromised people come in many shapes and sizes, and at least one of them looks just like Lanie Luxx. Love, Lanie