After becoming single again, I began what has become a five ..

After becoming single again, I began what has become a five and a half year journey as a pansexual solo poly relationship anarchist... or as I prefer to simply call it; a *libertine*. My sexuality and my creative spirit seem to stem from the same source - when one is up, so is the other. I thrive on freedom, adventure and exploration. I will try to explain what I mean by relationship anarchy. We have lots of different kinds of relationships in our lives, and when we m33t someone, we don't yet know what they will become to us over the course of our time with them. Each combination of relating humans is its own complex universe and should not be f0rced into a category, or a hierarchy, or be required to follow rules that weren't created and agreed upon by the people in that relationship. So many people in romantic relationships allow whoever they are currently sleeping with regardless of how much time has been invested a higher priority and control over their access to long term platonic friends, current and former lovers, and sometimes even family members. I resent a system that implies someone else has the right to interfere with my other relationships that they are not a part of, or think they have control over who has access to my body. I also dislike the tendency monagamists have to throw away the people they have loved and invested in because their current partner is threatened. It also seems to lead to more dishonesty when natural urges, feelings or just changing perspectives might hurt the relationship if they are acknowledged. My goal instead here lately is to hopefully cultivate lifelong friendships, some of them with benefits! I would love to find another primary, lifelong partner, but I also think it's difficult and possibly unreasonable to expect one person to m33t so many of my wants and needs. Of course my romantic side still daydreams about finding one incredible person that fits me perfectly and a happy fairy tale ending, but until that magical person appears, I will be out there adventuring, m33ting people and creating community. I have a feeling the “right” person will *get* me, and won't expect me to sacrifice the people I care about to coddle their ego and after so many years of self-sufficiency, I will be strong enough to love and support them without limiting who they love by being too needy or co-dependent. I call it a journey because I feel like I'm questing, dreaming the impossible dream. When I posted yesterday that I'm crushing it at this lifestyle, it was important for me to reflect that because so often my wins don't look the same as everyone else's. You most likely won’t see photos of my lovers on Instagram. Like being an artist, I've sacrificed a lot of comfort and status to be myself and live life the way that’s natural. These notions may seem harsh, unreal or even chaotic. These ideas have gotten me into a lot of trouble in my life. I've simultaneously inspired people, brought them along for some wonderful rides, joyfully welcomed their little devil inside only to become an easy scapegoat when things didn't go as they hoped or expected. Not only the traditionalists but even the self-proclaimed open-minded allies to the queer community have shown discrimination towards non-monogamy, polyamory, swinging, or anything outside of the societal monogamy template many follow, or often only pretend to follow. I don’t think of showing up to the party solo as lacking - quite the opposite! There are actually some truly wonderful benefits to being solo, and I will expand on that soon! Ps. Honor your own little devil inside and check your DMs! 😈💋