Added 2024-11-06 04:35:20 +0000 UTC
I haven’t set up my grandfathers altar since I moved bc I just hadn’t got to that box yet but today l did unintentionally I didn’t even know what was in that box. I’ve been missing my grandpa so much more than usual lately. I didn’t even realize it’s bc I stopped trying to connect with him. I unpacked his cologne and set it up on my shelf with his pictures and a candle. Smelled his smells and shed some tears. Thought about how I used to wear this specific necklace everyday for 2 years straight that my grandfather gave me when I turned 13, but I took it off when Israel started this massacre bc I’ve been so ashamed. I didn’t want to be seen wearing a Jewish star because I didn’t want to be associated with Zionism & I know a lot of people are too ignorant to separate the fact that being Jewish is just a religion doesn’t mean you stand with Israel. Especially combined with the fact that the man I’m going to marry & has been my person for 12 years is Lebanese, the idea of someone looking at me and making the incorrect assumption that I’m a Zionist makes me want to throw up. But he got really fucking upset (especially because he loved my grandfather so much he was an amazing man) and convinced me to put the Jewish star back on again and to put set my altar back up. I’m telling myself that I know the facts of who I support and what I’m up against. I shouldn’t avoid doing what makes me feel close to who was my favorite person in the world & no longer with me, no matter how bad that may make me look to complete strangers that know nothing about me or my religion, WHICH IS JUST THAT. It’s not Israel. It’s not Zionism. It’s Judaism, not a political stance. Just my religion, not fucking politics. Which religion should never have a fucking place in politics to begin with.
