FEMINIZATION PROGRESS --------------------------------------..

FEMINIZATION PROGRESS
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So today I woke up and drove to Ghent, a clinic for fillers.
I make sure it is done proffesional and with safe products. (No permanent fillers). These fillers slowly reduce after +- a year, or, if you dislike the result, they can even disolve them.
I woke up very early and I had a lot done to be honest.
A little bit of filler under my eyes, my chin, and then the big scary thing. My lips.
I knew I didn't want to go extreme. Bigger, feminin lips but still natural.
The doctor warned me, that after the procedure, the lips will have some swelling and they will look huge but that will reduce a lot over the following days. I just went yolo and did it.
Of course everything was painful, but pain is never something that is a factor or something that will hold me back. But it did hurt abit.
When I arived at the car, I indeed noticed my lips where HUGE. I panicked a little bit. ''What have I done?, Am I not taking things too far? I should have just been happy with the way I was'' I started to have even more darker thoughts like ''Why the hell am I doing this to myself'' and ''Maybe I should just quit, stop this nonsense and go to the gym and workout'' Very emotional thoughts. (Blame it on the hormones?).
When my girlfriend, Princess Diamonds saw me, she didn't compliment me or made me feel better, instead she told me she thinks its ugly. I receive(d) no support. I rushed to the sissy market to work.
I am super tired and beaten down. My lips are blue and my face hurts. I didn't eat and I have tons of work to do. I think I took 100 pictures of myself during my workday, hoping the swelling would go away.
I am/was scared.
To be honest, I kinda like it, but I think the change is too big and too fast. I really panicked.
Still, no support from my girlfriend.
When I confronted her, I got the ''Sorry you feel offended by the truth'' treatment. I feel abit more insecure than before.
Now, the swelling has indeed gone down by a lot (see photo) and it is barely noticable. You can see it, but it is already a lot better.
Sometimes I really don't feel good about myself.
But I trust the doctor. Its a proffesional. Surely they didnt make things worse. And worse case scenario, I can reverse it.
I realized that, when the steps in feminization happen too fast and too suddon I panick and get scared...
Anyway,
I clearly didn't learned my lesson as tomorow i'm going to the city ''Hasselt'' to get eyelash extensions. 😂
I'll get over it. Me am strong!

Much love,
A tired and beaten down
Sissy Joyce