Part 5 Over the next few months we spoke every single day. ..

Part 5 Over the next few months we spoke every single day. Every day I'd open my eyes and within minutes there he would be... Right there on my screen. We bonded over memes, current news and affairs and bitmoji stories. He told me more and more about his personal situation, about his family, his motivations... He dreamed of me and I of him... one day he sent me a snap of his face post nap with a caption 'amazing dream about you'. His eyes were soft and sexual, I swear they ate me alive right through my screen. I spent way too long staring at this picture... I screen shot it and ever day I'd use it. One glimpse at this picture fueled me for the whole day. They way he looked at me - I felt like the most beautiful creature in the entire world. The thought of him and him alone made my body twist and contort, it craved him. Literally ached for him... every day id send him more of myself. 'I could watch you all day.' He snapped from the comfort of his office. The circumstances of our friendship were indeed questionable - I just didn't care. I would be anything he needed... We discussed laughable options. Just tell her I prompted, tell her your unhappy, find a negotiation if leaving isn't an option. Do something! Make me your Sunday night call girl, you can pay me a dollar and we'll make it business. He mentioned an event coming up. He was going to UFC alone and we would have a window of opportunity on his return... only a couple hours but he wanted me as much as I wanted him... nothing mattered. Not his job, not his partner... just that rush of adrenalin that beckoned us. The mere thought of this man set my soul on fire... He motivated me like nothing I've ever felt before in my life. I was dating a boy and I remember thinking, whatever happened doesn't matter cause I have him... it's stupid now but just having him in my corner made me invincible. I considered myself of high moral, I never knew how people managed affairs before now. If he leaves - he loses his home, his children and everything he thought he wanted... if he stays his doomed to live the existential crisis of mundane western society ... No. Absolutely not. Over my dead fucking body would I let this happen... His too beautiful. The day I had anticipated came... UFC day. He was tanked, buzzing and down to fuck. I wanted him so SO badly i almost let it happen - I ate a sleeping pill and put myself down. When I woke it, night had fallen. I can't fuck her man.