*hanging in the balance* ok so as i mentioned earlier - i t..

*hanging in the balance* ok so as i mentioned earlier - i thought i lost all my writing for this post but i was actually able to recover some of it ! i'm also going to make a lil video soon just to chat in my undies or something and go more into this if i feel like it :) for a lot of you, especially people that have been here for a while, I'm sure it's obvious that i've been in a slight transition phase. i actually love and embrace every transition phase because they've always made me better at what i do here, creatively and in every part of my life. i've really been wondering about what directions i want to take my content, how i want to spend my energy and who i want to share my energy with in life and in these spaces. I've been giving myself a lot of time to also rest a bit after a really intense work period (vegas, ranks, etc) and also *lots* of unexpected caregiving and life stuff. i've given this time to think about how i value myself, how i'm valued by others and how i want to be seen. i don't know yet how subtle or big all the changes will be but i'm definitely excited to see what happens. i like to keep things to myself until i feel ready to launch into what i want to share next. I'm like a little sexual butterfly that needs to cocoon first, transform and then come out. I feel like the cocoon is so important and sacred so that's why I'm not trying to rush it - I'm just letting it be. I find that every time I just accept it too is when i feel the most fertile with creativity and sexuality as well. When I decide the timeline on my terms and go by my instincts. I want to share that when I'm ready. Especially with the people that understand the best ways to care and perceive. *also* July marks three years that I've been doing this here and on MFC - it's a really big milestone for me and I definitely want to treat it as such and I want to make sure I'm able to celebrate it and all the work/care i've put into it - so I hope I can be a butterfly that month especially and create a lot. Anyways stay tuned, I have lots to share and will be sharing them from my lil cocoon until I'm ready for full force flight. I hope you enjoy my cocoon just as much as you appreciate my full force.