š„ Tip $5 if you would want me to be your New Years kiss. š„ŗš
I have a lot of messages to respond to, so if I havenāt responded yet, I will get to it, I promise. š„ŗā¤ļø I havenāt forgotten about anyone, I pinky swear! I updated my website at Katarinaishii.com ā let me know what you think about the new layout and color scheme. The GGG was rescheduled for tomorrow. š„° I canāt wait to have so much stuff to post on the feed for you all.
š Have you ever subscribed to an Onlyfans page from one of those spam Ads some creators post?
š Iām making content later today (BG) so hopefully Iāll have a lot posted on the feed this week to make up for the dry spell.
Okay, I know itās not THAT great but Iām proud of it because it took forever for me to do. I want to get better at making videos and using it as a creative form of expression. Itās a unique medium that has a lot of flexibility. I want to hopefully expand to other areas such as twitch and patreon. I just want to be able to save up money, pay my student loans and credit card debt, and hopefully exist somewhat peacefully. :,(
Iām pretty lucky I donāt feel anything from all the mean comments I receive on Reddit for having an OF. Granted, they canāt construct a logical argument if their life depended on it. Itās funny when they realize their arguments are failing and they go straight to insulting my appearance or calling me ugly. Bro, do you think Iām actually going to feel bad a rando on the internet called me ugly? Please, I had my whole HS school essentially call me that all four years. Thereās no words that can hurt me. It does get exhausting having all these people hate you for a dumb reason like existing + having an OF. At least come up with better arguments so I can feel intellectually stimulated on a basic level while I simultaneously cringe. Ah, thereās no end to the hate I receive simply for having an OF and trying to make a damn living.
>> Myth: Onlyfans girls have no self-respectĀ <<
Most of the time, people will claim onlyfans girls (sex workers) have no self-respect or dignity, which justifies societyās mistreatment of them. Letās take apart why exactly do OF creators lack self-respect, what does it mean for an individual to have it, and what are the perceived social implications of losing it. What makes sex work particularly undignified, compared to say, working long hours at a factory barely meeting minimum wage or an adjunct that has a full schedule of classes to teach and a long list of articles they must get publish in order to be considered for tenure?Ā
They will say, being naked on camera is what makes them lack self-respect. My question in return is, why does nudity imply a loss of dignity? This all seems to be connected to the religious notion of the body being aĀ āsacred templeā and the equally archaic idea of women needing to preserve their modesty in front of everyone besides her husband. What is considered to be dignified differs from culture to culture; a woman showing her hair or wearing her skirt above the knees in a Muslim household would be seen lacking self-respect or dignity but in our Western world, she would be labeled your average girl.Ā
Their argument that OF girls lack dignity and self-respect is simply a boring reiteration of earlier religious arguments made against any action women took that moved them more in the direction of independence.Ā OF girls lacking self-respect seems to be an ad hoc reasoning for explaining why they are against OF creators. Most of the time they fail to define what it means to lack dignity or respect and why this lack of these qualities cause them to be undeserving of basic human kindness (some have argued further). Ā
What I see as their real problem:Ā
Onlyfans makes women more independent; as a result, they are becoming less dependent on men. Men, in turn, feel threatened by this growing independence and are becoming alienated from this image they constructed of themselves as the āproviderā or ābreadwinnerā. Ā
Hereās some natural sun selfies ā¤ļø Iām doing a GGG collaboration later today so I canāt wait to share with you the results when Iām done. š„°.
ā
Why do we like who we like?
If x, y, z are characteristics I like about a certain individual: Iād ask myself whether Iād still like the person if they lacked x, then y, then z, & we can continue this thought experiment with varying combinations of traits they theoretically possess or lack.
People, for the most part, judge an individual holistically, but in the end, their judgements can be reduced to some finite set of characteristics. It is intractable to come up with that set. We simply do not know it. Thus, holistic judgements are our inability to enumerate that set & compute it logically. Our brain does computations that we are unaware of in the same sense in which we recognize a facial expression "holistically" a la Wittgenstein, etc.
If D = ex & C = current object of affection
Let X = {things about D that I like}
Y = {things about D I don't like}
X' = {things about C I like}
Y' = {things about C I don't like}
It's sufficiently hard to know what's in each of those sets. Itās even harder to know what's in their intersections and complements.
I may be projecting traits or I may really want X,Y but is imagining X',Y'. I may be seeing an illusion of X',Y' so instead of X',Y' i'm seeing X'' = Projection(X) and Y'' = Projection(Y)
Overall, there will probably be reasonable commonality between X, X' and Y, Y'
The conclusion is that one should take a holistic approach in their assessment of a person instead of focusing on their individual characteristics.
Inconclusive.
š Were you surprised when you subscribed to my page? If yes, What were you surprised by? What were your prior expectations about me and my page?
š The year is almost coming to a close, which means I will send those who spam like my posts, some nice sexy content. ā¤ļø
ā
Hereās my solution to how to find a partner lol
How to find a partner
You have a finite amount of time and potentially unlimited options, and so there must be ways to assess people and whether they would make an appropriate partner (ārelationship materialā or be a worthy investment). It's good to establish a baseline where there are non-negotiable characteristics that must be reached (we can set the baseline to 50%) -- and we have the qualities we are willing to compromise on. Once involved in a partnership, we can make a list of their personal assets and liabilities ā measure it using the baseline. Each quality is assigned a value (the higher you rate a trait, as you would guess, gives it a higher value) and do the same for the liabilities: the assets add to the baseline and the liabilities will subtract from the calculation of the baseline + assets.
(Flaws of my model: Even if we accept the premise that an individual can be reduced to a set of characteristics, this model discounts the impact of variable interaction. The combination of two or more characteristics may produce a reaction in both parties that is greater than the individual reactions of each separate characteristic.)
My thought process when writing this was centered on the issue of Optimal Stopping, which is a decision making problem that one is confronted with when faced with a line of potential options. As a rational actor, we preferably would like to choose, when possible, the best of those options. Decision-making, in this case, requires the accumulation of data and some form of relative standard by which the data extracted from the potential options can be compared with that of the other. When choosing a partner, we judge them by drawing comparisons between previous partners, crushes, or potential love interests. However, a rational decision involving love (oxymoron?) cannot always be made by comparison because there are other factors pertinent to our courtship conundrum.
If we do not want to decide our fate with a mate in this way, we can always apply the Threshold Rule where there is a set percentile that the potential love interest must make or exceed before they can be considered. I see this as the baseline (non-negotiable qualities that an Individual must possess in order for me to seriously consider them as a potential match ā an example of a highly ranked characteristic is a certain type of intelligence ā analytic and logical thinking is a favorite). Anyone below this baseline is simply not entertained. There are qualities that are desirable, but not necessary, as long as they are above the baseline of what I consider to be acceptable (such as attractiveness ā age fades, beauty becomes a bore, and intelligence infinitely entertains...).
The problem with finding the Optimal Stopping time is when the so-called ābestā option has been rendered long gone within the search itself or that the time, holding value in the sense that it implicitly contains gains and losses, (gains when time is used wisely and the time spent toward a goal amounts fruitfully rather than a loss, which is when one has wasted their time striving for a goal, receiving nothing in return) Is considered to be a loss due to the fact that the tedious hours spent toward the pursuit of the āperfectā partner could have been used more productively.
I finally have some good news ā the wallet I thought I had lost was mailed to my parents house so now itās in my possession once again *reunited and it felt so good*. Iāve had this trusty wallet for about three to four years now; it has served me well, olā faithful. He now gratefully returns to his duties guarding my money in my purse. A woman and her wallet; a bond like no otherā¦ okay, Iām taking this too far and will drop while Iām ahead. Pictured above is said wallet.
š I have a GGG collaboration tomorrow. Feel free to send any requests you have. I may take on any customs you have if they can be easily implemented.
š Are you free New Years Eve at night?
ā¤ļø Once again, please double or triple message me because dms get lost in my inbox. No I wonāt assume youāre crazy or needy so donāt worry about that.
š„° Spam like my posts for a surprise at the end of the year.
Hereās a couple full body shots, first one showing the mysterious thigh gap you hear girls talking about. Being part of pro ana tumblr in HS, I was made aware of the ideal thigh gap very early but luckily for me, I didnāt have to do anything to achieve it except basically exist.
Remember: if you spam like my posts, I will put you on a special list where I will send you exclusive sexy stuff at the end of the year. I keep note of all the people who do this and will create a nice bundle that will maintain incentive to spam like my posts this coming year. (Every month i will make a list of those who spam like my posts and send them all something special)
I fixed my Amazon wishlist so thereās now an address!
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/6UTP3XC64BHW?ref_=wl_share
Hope you had a happy Christmas. What are your New Years resolutions for the next year? I donāt really make them because I feel whatever resolutions I have arenāt necessarily new for the year but ones Iāve always been working toward. The new year doesnāt incentivize me toward making changes that I wasnāt already working toward in the first place. I do hope to do some traveling next year finally.
Christmas special ā only today: $50 for Cock Rating Narrative usually $65. Four videos (still working on the fourth for many of them ongoing but Iām getting there).
Feel free to double or triple message me because messages get lost and I donāt see them so it will help me. Please please message me if youāre expecting something from me.
Remember If you spam like my posts, at the end of the year I will send something sexy & nice to you :)
Good news bros: I resolved things with my family and am staying ā so I have some collaborations in the works for this month and early January and can respond to messages again. My parents are in their 70ās pretty set in their ways so itās a bit difficult for them to admit to anything. I love my parents a lot more than anything and itās tough being put in these situations. Sorry I was such a downer yesterday, my parents are easily the people who can truly make me feel suicidally depressed more than any love interest could. I appreciate all the support Iāve been getting. It being such a slow last couple of days dish that make it any better unfortunately and was making me even more depressed. Iām excited I can m e e t @nastyavalentine now! ā¤ļø Yay! So Iām leaving on Jan 6.
I will make several of these polls to make sure I know more about what makes subscribers comfortable and uncomfortable so when I send out PPV, I will only send to people who say they are okay with this specific kink. Race play is a huge source of traffic for me so I tend to cater to it but in the next BG stuff, Iāll leave it out for people who arenāt into it and will make it up for PPV. If other kinks make you uncomfortable, donāt hesitate to let me know.
š Are you comfortable with me sending you PPV with themes such as Race Play?
ā¤ļø For those into race play, what got you into it? What aspects appeal to you? (Feel free to answer in comments or messages). The US has a particularly complex relationship with race, rife with heavy conflict that spans generations. A part of me thinks the taboo nature of race play and itās unspoken social rules are what attracts people but I donāt know. For me personally, it falls under my rules that if itās a kink that canāt land you in j a i l and doesnāt cause non consensual harm, then I have no place to judge. I sometimes think people take it too far especially on the subreddit race play and will definitely put these men in their place if they try to say I am that in reality.
Once again, I remind you all: I donāt judge you on your kinks and you can feel free to express what you enjoy and desire.
It's been another slow couple of days, which sucks for me and maybe good for them. I don't really have any alone time here so yeah, customs may take longer than expected because both of my parents work at home. I don't post a lot of full body videos or pictures, I hope as a new years resolution that I feel more comfortable with my body. I am sure when you see me, you wouldn't describe me as fat or anything close to it but unfortunately It's hard to see myself any differently. I'm still working hard on having a healthy body image and relationship to food. :,( I don't starve myself or anything but sometimes I wish I had the will power to do so. anyways, hi. :)
Guess my height. I'm 105lbs for better context
Would anyone be able to make a live stream tonight around 10pm? ā oops I forgot this Is New York time so it will probably be 8 pacific time āŗļø
We can talk about the holidays, the stuff that sucks likes families, traumatic memories, loneliness and the good stuff that we can do to make it better ā¤ļø
So I may invest in a new camera that will make me less reliant on my BG partner to make content because heās been unreliable as of late and I need to find someone more reliable. I try to hold myself to a certain standard in putting out content and I feel like Iāve been letting you all down on that since I havenāt out out any BG content in a while. I assure you, if I had access to it, I would be posting it at this very second. Iām still upset about being made to feel like the ugly third wheel a month ago. Sometimes itās forgotten that I have feelings or that I can feel jealousy if thereās unequal treatment between me and another. That day I felt truly ugly and I am still annoyed by that. I rejected doing a GGB with her because I felt super shitty watching them passionately makeup as if I wasnāt in the room at all. GOD. As much as I would have liked to help another creator and gain her some exposure, my mental health comes first and I shouldnāt do anything that will put that at risk.
I am still hesitant about spending too much money even though the camera will also be used for potentially making YouTube videos. Yes, while I can, I want to expand out to various channels and hopefully find a place where I belong. Whatās good is a lot of these enterprises are not based on luck but a certain set of skills and knowledge that I will have to acquire. Thanks again to all those who attended last nightās live stream. Off to Cali now. On airplane. Ciao
I forgot to say the lie: I have been to a sleepover before so I will send whoever filled that in a little something. :)
Stream started at 12/22/2021 03:11 am
Life Stream 21/12/2021 -- Thanks to all who showed up to today's live stream -- I would say it was a success. I didn't expect to make any in tips because I don't prioritize that in these discussion based ones. I just like getting to know you all ^o^ so Thanks!
So when should I reschedule the live stream discussion?
I still probably will live stream tonight around 9-10pm New York even if itās just for a little bit. Will try to tape it as well. Hope some of you can make tin ā¤ļø
My suicidal feelings has gotten a whole lot better now that I am in a better position financially. I also get so much support and move from you guys and people on Reddit, it makes my heart feel so nice and I am so appreciative of it all. Iām considering doing a live stream tonight at 9pm (if thereās a better time, lmk) ā can anyone make it? (Last day in New York) Iāll try to have it taped and post it the next day.
It will be a conversation life stream (no focus on tips unless you want to) ā the topic will be our middle to high school experiences / bullying, toxic culture, beauty standards for male and females, what changes should be made, our traumatic memories and active ways of coping with them, and we can just let the discussion flow naturally as it did last time.
š Can you make it at this time?
š If you like what I do but canāt afford to donate, thereās one thing you can do to show your appreciation: make me feel loved by spam liking my posts. Your efforts will not go unnoticed as I take note of each person who does this and puts them on a special list where at the end of the year, Iāll send something nice and sweet. š
OMG there was supposed to be a poll attached to my last postā¦ okay well who wants to be on my cute newsletter where I send periodically cute stuff, positive voice messages and memes ā¤ļø
š„ Tip $5 if you like this lingerie set on me š„°ā¤ļø
Iām thinking about periodically sending messages containing cute and positive stuff, I just want to melt your heart or make you smile at random moments in the week. I would send you cute pictures of animals like my kitten, positive voice messages, and funny memes.
Who would want to be on a list like this? š
I take videos in order to take photos / gifs out of them.
š„ Tip $5 if you think I should post the videos of me posing on here š
I sent people who bought PPV a special couple videos to show my appreciation. If you buy still, I can send you, as well. ;-). Iāll probably send bundles of videos in order to make it worthwhile to you. ā¤ļø
Round Three
ā Two Truths and One Lie ā (doesnāt count if you already knew prior lol)
Reminder: I take note of those who spam like my posts and it will not go unnoticed at the end of the year. ā¤ļø Itās free and it makes me feel good.
I feel I need some inspiration on how to express my soul / inner being via short video clips like these since I canāt do it in my normal medium via writing. I suppose I can view this as a new challenge I am undertaking.
These are for TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@katarinaishii
Also, if you havenāt already, getting a rating narrative with me. Itās $55 if youāre a new sub within three to five days of his subscription. š„°
Did you know I take note of who spam likes my post and will keep them on a special list where I send exclusive naughty stuff? Itās free ā¤ļø
š„ Tip $5 to the fundraiser if you want me to do more live streams. š„°
Weāve almost hit our goal ā¤ļø
https://onlyfans.com/237918874/katarinaishii
Thank you to all who showed up to the live stream yesterday. It was quite a nice wholesome conversationā I will try to have a more developed plan next time In terms of activities and tip goals but it was a good test run.
Overall, I would like to do more of these non-sexual conversational livestreams (less tip focused), itās great hearing what you all have to say, learn about your individual experiences, and share some of the stuff I find hard to talk about. Or maybe we can have a topic of night where we can share about our personal experiences with it. What do you think?
Thank you SO MUCH for coming though. I appreciate it deeply. š„ŗā¤ļø
I sincerely donāt see the resemblance. Please someone enlighten me or is it impossible for me to be unbiased about this.
also live stream at 10pm tonight (in an hour) ā¤ļø
I will try again to do a live stream at 10pm New York time tonight so please make it and have some questions or something. I will try to be more prepared for you all. ā¤ļø
Hereās a video of my first time going live on tik tok :-) the other is what I was drawing
https://onlyfans.com/237918874/katarinaishii
Weāre so close to our goal :-D
š„ Tip $5 if you missed my nude selfies and want me to post more š„ŗā¤ļø
Okay, Live stream attempt was way too awkward for me. I need an actual activity to be doing because I feel weird just sitting there. Iām naturally the type of person who doesnāt like the spotlight, prefers to blend in the background, a shirking violet if you will. I will try again maybe later tonight at 10 pm again (NYC time) except this time Iāll play with my magnets or something.
šA poll because I want to see how many actually come from my other socials. I don't know whether itās worth my time to develop my other ones except Tik Tok.
Follow me there because I almost have enough followers to go live: www.tiktok.com/@katarinaishii
And my backup got banned which I am definitely appealing: for the dumbest reason: thereās a picture of me shooting at a shooting range. Thereās plenty of tik toks of people shooting guns. Wtff
So for some reason, some of my content became unlabeled and people think I donāt have a good amount of BG content since I guess they canāt find it easily. Rest Assured, I do and will have more as the month progresses alongside GG collaborations. Here s a walk through my page to show you features you may have missed and to give you a step by step walk through my BG content. I only started In august so all this is accumulated from that time. I did delete the facial videos because I am making a facial PPV bundle (message me if youāre interested).
I currently have no solo content where I achieve full orgasm so if youāre interested in that, you can buy it separately from me. I only am doing masturbation customs where I say your name as I cum for $100. I can make it an 8-10 min video Including strip tease and blow job simulation.
PPV Options (more to come)
Asian cuck / white worship (BG) ā $15
16 min GGB video ā $15
2 Solo videos + dirty talk ā $15
Three BJ with a large load facial Videos ā $15
You should definitely get one of my very honest cock ratings though! That shit be OP
Gonna try for a livestream tonight at 22:00 (10pm New York time)
Fundraiser almost there :)
https://onlyfans.com/237918874/katarinaishii
I should be good to post a video today, depending on whether BG partner sends themā¦
I blocked my first subscriber yesterday. First, he asked where all my fuck videos. He asked rudely but whatever, I noticed they were unlabeled so I went though most of them and labeled them so itās easily assessable. Then he decides to criticize almost every aspect of them from the talking to the fucking. He had a negative remark about almost everything. You know what, I am not that desperate to have you someone pick apart my content in such a disrespect way. Honestly, that type of behavior is what makes me feel unappreciated and I will not accept it. Most people put fuck videos behind a paywall and I have it up for everyone. Itās not like he had to pay extra for it and so his dissatisfaction is tied to a price, either.
Iāve worked bad jobs and unfortunately was so desperate for money that I allowed my boss to treat me in frankly dehumanizing ways. I will never reduce myself like that again ā I donāt overvalue myself or believe I should be treated like royalty, but I deserve human decency and respect and thereās no way I will allow myself to be treated otherwise simply because Iām getting paid.
I will maintain the expectation of being treated with respect and will do so In return. Iām not desperate for money to the point where I will not allow myself to be debased or disparaged.
I will do a live stream later but I am pretty nervous about it. I did a short test run so I have an idea of what itās like but at the same time, I donāt really have a solid plan for it.
Going to do LIVESTREAM tomorrow at 22:00 (10pm New York time)
Fundraiser almost there!
https://onlyfans.com/237918874/katarinaishii
Iām still waiting for BG guy to send me videos since he edits them and has the camera
I booked my flight for California so I will be there from Dec 22-Jan 11. Have some content collaboration ideas in the works for then. ā¤ļø
The last pictures are of my sweet baby kitty cat.
Donate to my fundraiser! Weāre almost there:-)
Follow my backup tick tok because I wear unfairly banned from posting on my main for a couple of days :,(
www.tiktok.com/@katarina0ishii
www.tiktok.com/@katarinaishii
Feel free to follow me on Tik Tok ā www.tiktok.com/@katarinaishii
Reddit has been demoralizing my slow so I have to up my game elsewhere. The marketing strategy is a lot different here so itās less about my intellect and more about making thirst traps like these XD
Hope you can get a cock narrative with me or contribute to my fundraiser!
https://onlyfans.com/237918874/katarinaishii
Another way you can support me is to spam like my posts because I will keep track of who does it and send you exclusive rewards! If you can, buy my PPV because I work hard at making sure to send you all the best of what I have to offer ā¤ļø
Did you know I take special note of all those who spam like my posts and will send you some exclusive sexy stuff out of sheer appreciation later on in the month? If donating isnāt something youāre not in the financial position to do, thatās totally fine; hitting the like button on my posts also makes me feel loved AND plus, Itās free! š„°
For those of you who do have the disposable income and want to support my page, feel free to donate to my Lego / Cosplay Fund ā already have some cosplays in the works ā will add some to my Amazon wishlist as well. The lingerie from the last fundraiser hasnāt yet arrived but I will most likely make the video featuring that set early next year. I am thinking about hosting a live stream later in the week (Friday or Saturday: 20:30 or so / New York Time). I will post details about that later on. Let me know what times would work best for you!
š https://onlyfans.com/237918874/katarinaishii
As you know, I will not recommend a creator unless I actually love their content and respect the ethics of how they run their business. I will never be paid to endorse a product or a creator.
I know a lot of you feel you donāt know enough genuine, interactive, or intellectually stimulating creators. I know a lot of people are jaded by their bad experiences on onlyfans, the insincerity, the deceptive unethical business practices that many creators hold, or the lack of interaction outside of spam ppv dms. I want to show you that not everyone is like that, there are still honest creators who seek to provide an authentic experience for subscribers. Itās these types of creators I love to support.
A few of my subscribers have already checked her out (feel free to endorse my recommendation in the comments section) and already love her. I am not just giving a recommendation here, I am posting her writing and philosophy on the parasocial experience because you can gain a better understanding of her approach to Onlyfans as a creator.
I am honestly in love with her content and who she is as a person ā her page has an authenticity that I havenāt seen elsewhere, you can have judgment free intellectual discussions with her just like with me, and she has a ton more solo content than I do featuring fantasy dildos like bad dragons (Iām still looking In getting one of those lol). If you do end up subscribing, please tell her I sent you there :-)
Me and her plan to have a customs collaboration where there will be a fat discount if you get a custom from both of us, weāre still working out the details so weāll keep you all updated. Her friendship is seriously one of the best things to have come out of Onlyfans. ā¤ļø
The proceeding paragraphs and the three images after my first bomb selfie are the intellectual musings of @nastyavalentine š
ā
I believe itās important to talk about sexuality in this digital age not only on the narrow Onlyfans perspective but of the online culture as a whole.
There are so many things not covered by traditional sex education that need to be pondered like an orb: disassociation of the online persona, egoic illnesses, sexual healing, inclusivity, accessibility, dark desires, e-capitalism, the desire for intimacy, the desire for a nice life, the desire for depravity, and so much more.
This is compiled from my years of working in the sex industry and existing at such a strange time, where weāre all virtually (lol) avatars of ourselves. Being online and putting the self out there so vulnerably may result in fragmentation of the personality; we all fragment daily depending on who we are with, but itās a different psychological experience being in your āirl selfā and āonline selfā ā for me, they bleed into each other. I give a lot of myself to this site. Often too much, and I have to rein it back to not become obsessive. Similarly, my online persona which is a sexually exaggerated version of my irl persona then activates my irl persona even more ā over time this has led to a higher level of personal and sexual confidence for me so Iām not mad.
How do we gather information and how do we know it is real? Do we trust things online? Without sounding too much like a pretentious fuck, how do we reconcile the epistemology of fake news and inauthenticity online without going completely insane and disassociating?
The online world has almost overtaken our corporeal reality, it certainly influences it. Thereās a reciprocal nature to these two realities. Adding sex to this mirror of infinite regress is very interesting since we canāt actually fuck the person on the screen, but the human brain will process activities like masturbation as a reality.
Why do we even want sex? Why do we crave it, why do we risk it all for it? As a human desire thatās been there since the beginning of creation, we already have many answers to this that are primal.
Why do we want popularity? This too has certain evolutionary biological processes but the drive to be popular has never been as toxic and feckless as it is now. Eventually this bullshit influencer culture will fall, and as cheesy as it sounds I think people will see through the bullshit.
Why do we want money (a lot of it)? Capitalism conditions us to be capitalists. Weāre conditioned to want a lot of money while working bullshit wage jobs to barely scrape by. We want what we donāt have, and the system is rigged against us to prevent us from having it. Most people should be satisfied with having a great livable wage and enough resources to live happily, eat well, follow their passions. Why the fuck then do people want more? Why do we idealize and idolize those with millions, billions of dollars? Those at the top of the proverbial food chain donāt even have enough time to spend all their money. Consumerism has overtaken us and itās pathetic. Money being a primary motivator for people is really sad. Obviously I am motivated by it too, I have to somehow profit to make a living and pay my rent. Living in poverty has shown me the depths of hell and a place I deeply viscerally fear going back to. Iām able to make a modest living with this platform and while my niche content wonāt ever be able to make me wealthy, I donāt need to make hundreds of thousands of dollars a month. But I do have fantasized about what I would do if I were in that position. Why?
What in our collective human subconscious of the past few hundred industrial years has made us idealize fast tracks to wealth so badly?
What would you do if you were rich? Would you help change the course of a dying planet? Would you help people, for real? Or help them in a way that satisfies your ego? Would you only help yourself? If I were to truly make bank from this account, I would do things to unify and educate people, rather than other myself and divide. Connection and unity is wildly important, now more than ever, even if itās through a screen.
Why do we want emotional/sexual connection in a digital landscape? Itās strange that in this dystopia, and I do believe we live in the early stages of a dystopia, online connections can feel more real than ārealā ones. This is what I find fascinating, intangible, and something I will spend my whole life probably trying to dissect. The various realities we experience are so trippy and psychedelic.
The hustle and grind culture has fucked us up, filled us with competitive toxicity, and dulled our life satisfaction. I believe leisure is more valuable than working yourself to the bone (I say this as I suffer from hypocritical overachieving and fucking workaholism). I dream of having a life where rest is collectively valued and the girlbossification of society is over with. Constantly being pressured to outdo yourself does something harsh to your brain. Being inundated with constant advertising, spam, and marketing bullshit rewires our brain chemistry to be desensitized to the oversaturation of data. The way to combat this for me has been to unplug, take breaks from being online, and liberate my feelings of uselessness and self-doubtful thinking.
To me, having an Onlyfans, beyond being a source of income, is a source of liberation and delight. Knowing that I can make a few people turned on is an incredible thing for me. Being perceived as āhotā or āprettyā after a lifetime of suffering from body image issues, eating disorders, and general melancholia, seems unreal. Nothing is real. Nothing matters. Nothing makes sense. Most of my days are spent in a depressive, disassociating state. But if for a brief moment in my day I feel good about myself, and if itās due to a stranger online subscribing to me, sending a tip for the content I work so hard on, or giving a genuine, thoughtful compliment ā itās everything. If my online presence can make others feel this type of joy, then Iām happy to exist online and provide this interactive parasocial porn experience.
There is so, so, so much more I have to say about all this that canāt be covered merely in a longwinded Onlyfans post, to be covered more in depth in my Cyberhorny project as I write and develop it.
Bringing back the The Tip Wheel with more options
$15 for one spin
$27 for two spins
$36 for three spins
The options are as follows: Masturbation Video, 1 Sexting Session, 2 Sexting Sessions, Personalized Dirty Talk Video, Custom JOI, GFE for a day, Affirmation or Degradation video, 1 Custom Video, Audio Recording, Sexy Audio Recording, Pussy Spread Video, strip tease video, 15 min video chat,
I appreciate all of the people who have bought the PPV. This makes it so I donāt have to overburden myself with customs in order to make a living wage. I try to make my PPV affordable and will try to include extras as part of a package deal whenever I can to make sure you definitely get your monies worth. I hear of people who feel ripped off or cheated because a creator fails to accurately describe the video or was misleading in their descriptions. I hope to never do any of those things.
Before I price things, I usually ask a couple close subscribers what they would price it as. I donāt think a creator can truly accurately assess the value of their content (hence you see creators charging $50 bucks for a one minute fuck video or nudes). Sure, you may have put in a lot of effort but that effort doesnāt always translate to an increased value (as in, it doesnāt make it worth paying for simply by merit of your hard work).
I do feel that with PPV, I am feeling more appreciated ā I think itās fair that subscribers who pay more, get to see more. I donāt know if I believe in a full everyone equal mentality ā Iām not a full on capitalist but I do think that people who work harder and achieve more should be compensated fairly for that.
For instance, I think a long term subscriber who tips should get access to more content than someone who got me on a $4-$5 subscription and never tips (not that you need to tip, because I donāt expect everyone to. My conversations never require tips so you can feel free to chat me up on without feeling you need to pay). Sounds fair, I hope? I mean, thereās a ābase incomeā as in, thereās the bare minimum amount of content every subscriber by virtue of that fact is entitled to ā but I donāt think people should feel entitled to more ā and if they do feel they deserve more, they should show this by paying for it.
Honestly Iām still irritated that the people who feel they have the right to complain about the amount of content I put out are the ones who got me on the super discount subscription, and somehow that makes sense. The people who paid full price or continue to rebill at full price, place high value on my content and the labor that goes into it. They appreciate what it takes to do it and they gladly support it. Thank you ā¤ļø
