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theferalphilosopher
theferalphilosopher

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Hello, lovely human beings. 💕 I am back. However! lol I am ..

Hello, lovely human beings. 💕

I am back. However! lol I am experiencing a certain degree of anxiety, in returning to OF. I think this is to be expected, any time one takes an extended absence from an endeavor. Perhaps, *especially* one that is semi public. I suspect that I am experiencing something akin to imposter syndrome. Looking back at these pics (I took them yesterday 😊), there are things that stand out to me: I need to get back into the practice of spending time figuring out the tripod angles, I need to get myself another light like wtf wtf wtf with the lighting GAH, idk… various other technical issues that became more apparent to me upon review. Sweet; I can work on those things.

But then there is the body. My body. This body that you see here. I have always struggled to feel attractive. I am just not predisposed to have positive assessments of my image. lol And guys. I am turning 40 next month. 🙈 I don’t even want to talk abt it! lol

I am so fucking tempted to run through a list of attributes that I perceive to be egregious aesthetics flaws, which I possess. I want to use my logical stupid brain to explain why my opinion is actually correct, or at least justified. I want to do so in the name of transparency; *you* need to know that I am so so so flawed! I AM VULNERABLE, DAMN IT. Haha

But I won’t do that tonite. Rather, I will say: this is what I look like. These are the top 40 (including a PPV post of 11 pics that I’m also planning to share 😘) pics, from hundreds that I took. So, perhaps I should say that this is what I look like at my best, in some conditions? LOL Whatever.

***Here’s the point:***

Show me if you want to keep seeing me? I believe my internal data (hi, brain), but I also believe external data. Help me manipulate my squishy, mooshy brain-part! Like this post. Or tip it. Or buy, and like, the forthcoming PPV post. Comments are cool beans, too!

I am planning to make a video tomorrow, and it’d be so sweet to see the notifications while I’m getting ready. 🩷

Ok!!!! Good nite, bb. ;)

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