Happy tbt! Tw: body image, weight gain, eating disorder On..
Added 2021-05-31 19:01:02 +0000 UTCHappy tbt! Tw: body image, weight gain, eating disorder One of the reasons why I’ve been afraid to start an OF was because of my weight gain in the past year. In these pics, I was abt 170-175 pounds & I loved the way I looked but felt like shit. I couldn’t sleep, I based my happiness on affirmations from strangers, & I lived off liquor, coffee, unseasoned chicken, & broccoli. Then quarantine hit, & I went on Lexpro, which reshaped my relationship to my body. I’m at around 190 now. I feel much more stable (& even stronger in the gym!), but I’m terrified to wear half the things I used to. I don’t have the same stomach, nor the veins. I can’t get away with as many types of lighting or angles. & seeing fit queers all over insta, Reddit, & OF, has made me wonder if I need to be “less” in order to be androgynous. But my body is my body. It’s the only one I have. Perhaps the coming posts will be me letting go of my BS. I really do love bodies of all types, so idk why I struggle to apply that to myself. I see folks with tummies & stretch marks & hair & shapes that “defy” their gender, & like, if they own it, it turns me on sooooo much. Like, plz share your hunky farmhand momma energy. Plz share your faggy tender twinkiness. Plz share your soft, punky tatted goodness. I just want to work toward that energy. & thinking abt it kinda makes me want to slut out rn 😅
