⚠️ Rather heavy text don’t read if you’re not okay yourself!
I feel like I’m being crushed to death underneath my failure's. I’m in a constant fight, digging myself up from the rubble of my own creation most of the time. I want so much to be capable of achieving and managing the things I enjoy or aspire to achieve but I keep falling short. It’s a reacurring theme. Sometimes it’s better other time it’s worse but it keeps on happening. I’m struggling to see how to have the energy to dig myself out once again. I’m tired.
I know my PMDD is worsening it all atm. I also know I need to make accommodations for myself for this time of the month. My thoughts gets so dark and even though the worst pass as soon as the estrogen starts going up again, some of it still remains but fainter. Like it’s more of a background noise rather then a full blow concert. But when the accommodations I feel I’d need to make will lead to me feeling like I’m yet again failing how much will it then help?
I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a streamer or a CC. Same as I’m not able to manage other types of jobs either. I enjoy it immensely though when I’m able to do it well but so often I can’t manage because my disability, sickness or life events knocking me over. I keep trying so hard and I’m wondering if it really should be this much of a fight. The reality is that I’m not well and I never will be. My conditions besides the depression are chronic, even my trauma will most likely never be resolved because I can’t access proper treatment for it. I will be broken forever and I made my peace with that a long time ago but I’m wondering if I need to start making peace with that I’m not capable of all this. If I was it wouldn’t be this hard.
I don’t know what to do or what to change because clearly I can’t change myself. If I could I would have changed by now, I’ve been trying. I keep trying.
I wish I could do everything I want to do and do it well, I want to feel proud. I don’t want to be a letdown. I wanna be stable and consistent 💔
Cute photos coming to those with renew active on their subscription 💕 will be in your DMs later in the week!
I occasionally send out exclusive photos to those who choose to support me for another month. As an extra thank you 💕
I’m finally recovering from being sick, over two weeks of not being well at all. I have a lot of messages I haven’t replied to, at this point around a month of severe struggles to open any DMs. I’m slowly starting to read and reply.
I don’t use any messages services like many other Fansly creators do, I reply to everything myself. But I usually do better then I have the past month.
Summer, sun and being by the water would be so very nice right now. Having been sick for two weeks and still not feeling fully recovered has me in a bit of a lump. Feeling rather defeated atm and like a major failure but the logical part of my brains know I’m not, two weeks of inactivity doesn’t mean one is a failure. Wish I could get over the feeling though 😤
Come back in time and space with me to a hotel room in Paris, to a simpler time. Some years ago when I was younger, tougher and full of longing for exploration.
These photos are really special too me, having been a rather shy teenager when I turned 18 I started coming out of my shell and I spent some years exploring not just myself but many of the wonderful things the human body is capable of experiencing.
I’m wearing a red underwear set in these photos, I also remove my bra for some handbra shots. Amazing view of my little pre-gains butt, isn’t it adorable? 🤭 with a glimpse at my 🐱 lips in the red thong. 🥵 #fyp
I’ve not had any written out rules but think it might be needed. Here are two that I’m sure off;
🩷 Don’t ask for nudes.
🩷 Do not send me any sexual images whatsoever.
Boobies 🥵
I’m still to sick to have been able to make any new content. Sorry about that. Looking through my photos I do have a set of photos from Paris when I was like idk 18-19 maybe you’d like to see them? 🤔
I’m still sick 😥 at least waking up without fever but if I don’t rest it comes back so need take it easy. Hope you’re doing much better than me! Less then three
I’m very sick still, can’t even manage one game of Hearthstone or scroll social media because of how dizzy it makes me. Trying to rest and just listen to audio books but I’m so bored.
Also quite stressed out. I don’t have time to be sick for now almost a full week.
I’m severely behind on answering DMs, my usual fears of communication, avoiding it and then getting sick. Sorry to everyone who’s not gotten a response back yet. It’s not you it’s me!
Really hope I’ll be fever free tomorrow 😭😭😭 Sorry for lack of content, I was not prepared for getting sick. Hope I can still make new pictures for next Friday. I have bought such a nice bra and panties for valentines pictures 😍 but need to recover before I can take the pictures 🙁
I’m currently sick and feel absolutely horrible, took a covid test yesterday and it was negative. Gonna do an other test tomorrow. Would be so unlucky if I’m getting my second infection now after I avoided it for 3,5 years 😩
Hope you’re doing better than me. Being sick sucks so hard. On top of it I’m getting terrible sleep due to the coughing and congestion 😭
NEW VIDEO!!
It’s been a bit since I did a video and I know you really like them.😘 I do believe this is my first video where I’m talking a bit in the beginning.
If you enjoy my breasts and the thought of what they might look and feel like when being fondled, then this video is for you. Join me while I enjoy the fullness and softness of my breast! 😌🥵
Thank you for all the positive and kind compliments on the latest set 🥰 I’m glad that I’m able to make sets that you’ll enjoy 😃
Anything particular you’d like to see more off in future sets?
NEW SET!!
Your naughty girl is back with an adorable little outfit and a wandering hand that wants to touch herself. Maybe you’ve not given her permission yet and in the end you’ll have to show her what a naughty girl she is?
This set contains 17 pictures with a mixture of poses, I’m wearing this cute babydoll outfit with matching panties and my hair in pigtails.
Hope you’ll get much enjoyment from them 😌 #fyp
Sorry for being a no show for a few days. Finally finished building my new PC and it’s looking awesome. Took me four full days, morning to night to film and build it. Pretty sure I’m never doing that again 😅 became so exhausted I struggled to recover and just been feeling like utter crap the past days. Well at least new lesson learned!
Oops I might have forgotten to send out the little freebie set of photos for those with renew on. Let’s just pretend for a sec that it’s still December and holiday time 🤭 It’s in your DMs 🌹
I’ve first spent hours trying to plan the build and how I want to record it. Today I felt ready to begin and I’ve been filming for 12 hours and I’m just about to screw in the motherboard in the case. Can confirm filming a build is way more work and harder then I anticipated.
Taking a little break now and tested out some of the clips I took on the phone. Maybe the end result won’t be so bad if I just keep going!
I’ve already finished my first book of the year 😃 when I finish reading the next one I’ll have read my first book series in years. I was and avid book reader as a kid and teenager. For many reasons I feel out of reading but very happy to rediscover my love for it now.
NEW SET!!
Imagine you walk into my room as I’m getting dressed. You find me only wearing a small white top that ever so slightly gives a hint of my nipples underneath it. On the bottom I’ve only got on white thong with beautiful lace details and little flowers. You ask me to please do some poses for you since you know despite the rather innocent look of me, I’m rather naughty and enjoy teasing you. 😉
This set contains 14 pictures for $15.
If you unlock the set and you enjoy body hair, I do have my first ever two very close up photos of my pussy in the thong, showing part of my bush. Send a $25 tip and I’ll send you the photos.
#fyp
NEW SET!! (same as on the wall)
Imagine you walk into my room as I’m getting dressed. You find me only wearing a small white top that ever so slightly gives a hint of my nipples underneath it. On the bottom I’ve only got on white thong with beautiful lace details and little flowers. You ask me to please do some poses for you since you know despite the rather innocent look of me, I’m rather naughty and enjoy teasing you. 😉
This set contains 14 pictures for $15.
If you unlock the set and you enjoy body hair, I do have my first ever two very close up photos of my pussy in the thong, showing part of my bush. Send a $25 tip and I’ll send you the photos. 😽
Took a cute little casual set of pictures that I’ll share with y’all on Friday ☺️ turned out adorable. There’s something special with white, the sense of innocence perhaps? 🥺
Trying to get back into the swing of things. Can’t quite figure out how to manage my energy levels, prioritizing my sleep (to sleep as many hours as I can when I finally manage to sleep) but still struggle with the headaches and getting tiered quickly.
Doing my best though, just gotta keep at it and hope things improve!
