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itskristiebish

itskristiebish

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itskristiebish posts

so glad guys with twirly mustaches don't tie up girls to rai..

so glad guys with twirly mustaches don't tie up girls to railroad tracks anymore.

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Ripping open this pinata has satisfied every one of my child..

Ripping open this pinata has satisfied every one of my childhood dreams ๐Ÿ˜† Suck it suzie, this bish who never let me hit her pinata. I got my OWN now!๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผโค

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if I had a talking shark for a roommate instead of a lion, i..

if I had a talking shark for a roommate instead of a lion, i'd probably get into more deep-sea shenanigans..

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do you think you need a big gun to go house hunting?

do you think you need a big gun to go house hunting?

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you know your hair is long when it tickles your butt ๐Ÿ˜‹

you know your hair is long when it tickles your butt ๐Ÿ˜‹

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okay, just gonna check twitter ONE MORE TIME and then I'll g..

okay, just gonna check twitter ONE MORE TIME and then I'll get back to work.
- me, every two hours

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ever think about the people who call the cops when parties g..

ever think about the people who call the cops when parties get loud and how they're the people who never get invited to parties?

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oof right before i die, i want to stuff myself with 100 chic..

oof right before i die, i want to stuff myself with 100 chicken minis from chikfila and blaze tf up ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ˜Ž

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why live in a regular house when you can live in a steakhous..

why live in a regular house when you can live in a steakhouse? ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’•โค๐Ÿฅฉ๐Ÿฅฉ๐Ÿฅฉ

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i still cannot believe how much MESS this cake made!!!! okie..

i still cannot believe how much MESS this cake made!!!! okie okie, it was me that made the ultra big oooey gooey mess ๐Ÿ˜†โค

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*sighs* i think i'm finally successful enough to have haters..

*sighs* i think i'm finally successful enough to have haters, but still not successful enough to be successful lmao

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i like to pretend im strong and emotionally stable but my mo..

i like to pretend im strong and emotionally stable but my moods are completely dictated by how full the charge on my phone battery is ๐Ÿ˜คโœจ

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i donโ€™t wanna alarm youโ€ฆ. it later thereโ€™s been this weird c..

i donโ€™t wanna alarm youโ€ฆ. it later thereโ€™s been this weird creaking in my house, rustlingโ€ฆ and an insane high pitched laughโ€ฆ this started march 1st.. you donโ€™t think itโ€™s, The Leprechaun do you??๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ’š

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hello you, just want to remind you to have a good day! โคโคโคโคโค..

hello you, just want to remind you to have a good day! โคโคโคโคโค๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽ‚

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the sun looks so pretty in the sky ๐ŸŒค right, thatโ€™s what youโ€™..

the sun looks so pretty in the sky ๐ŸŒค right, thatโ€™s what youโ€™re looking at? the sun? ๐Ÿค“ if you didnโ€™t get the PPVs showing off some of my ASSets, tip $5 and iโ€™ll send them out asap! ๐ŸŒป๐Ÿงก

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after buying toiletpaper at walmart, the cashier insisted, "..

after buying toiletpaper at walmart, the cashier insisted, "you'll need your receipt." i don't know if i should be afraid...

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late night thoughts..: you shouldn't be afraid to do crazy s..

late night thoughts..: you shouldn't be afraid to do crazy stuff. like youโ€™ll learn from it, be a better person & have bad ass stories to talk about, which i think is the most important lol ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜ค

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whatever you do, donโ€™t check your PPVs ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

whatever you do, donโ€™t check your PPVs ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

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The fact Michael Jackson had to ask Annie if she was OK near..

The fact Michael Jackson had to ask Annie if she was OK nearly 100 times in four minutes makes me think she probably wasn't OK.

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i told a friend about this and she made this for me, now i d..

i told a friend about this and she made this for me, now i don't know how to feel..๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿฆ

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omg i forreal can't take Lionel anywhere anymore..:3 hehe ๐Ÿคฃโœˆ..

omg i forreal can't take Lionel anywhere anymore..:3 hehe ๐Ÿคฃโœˆ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ’–

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a smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's hea..

a smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart โ™ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ—

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hey you awake? are you awakeee? you awake now? ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

hey you awake? are you awakeee? you awake now? ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

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dear kristie, welcome to adulthood. you have a favorite spat..

dear kristie, welcome to adulthood. you have a favorite spatula now.

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cutting a bell pepper feels like the vegetable version of ki..

cutting a bell pepper feels like the vegetable version of killing an alien with all its little alien babies. ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ’”

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hate to brag but apparently i can still fit in my mid-school..

hate to brag but apparently i can still fit in my mid-school gym clothes xD woah

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Itโ€™s gonna be so hard to say goodbye to Februaryโ€™s Camily Wa..

Itโ€™s gonna be so hard to say goodbye to Februaryโ€™s Camily Wall, but also, so fluffin hyped for ST PADDYS DAY!!!! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿพ

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okay so hear me out..if you're ever being mugged just shout ..

okay so hear me out..if you're ever being mugged just shout "THERE'S A BEE ON YOU!!" the thief will freak out and run away haha what a baby problem solved ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ‘Œโค

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Whenever iโ€™m in the kitchen, i love baking sweet treats for ..

Whenever iโ€™m in the kitchen, i love baking sweet treats for my friends! But sometimes, i end up being your sweet little treat ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ’–

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there needs to be a third option because getting older or dy..

there needs to be a third option because getting older or dying aren't working for me. ๐Ÿ‘Œ

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