*There are two photos hidden here which are the most I can show you from this encounter without it becoming honest-to-goodness pornography... and I'm not ready for that! However, sharing these two pictures despite them not being overly explicit is still very BOLD in that they are REAL and my sexy friend “D” has kindly given me his permission.*
And now without further ado, here is the third installment of the story of “D” the dishwasher repairman...
After I stepped out of “D”'s shower, I immediately started hunting for the strewn articles of my clothing, from the backdoor all the way to the bedroom. Everything in my movement must have indicated I was hurrying to leave. We started speaking philosophically again as I caught the last hook of my bra, arms stretched behind me, fumbling a little. He stopped me as I reached for my crumpled shirt, and put his palm on the crease between my hip and lower ribcage.
“Leaving already? Don't you want to cuddle?”
I laughed, nervously, then apologized, surprised and a little embarassed. It was very late, we were at his place, and we were in Austin, Texas, a city known for Peter Pan-like menfolk with a tendency toward ghosting.
(Don't believe me? https://www.austin360.com/entertainment/20180203/study-austin-men-arethe-worst-behaved-singles-in-america)
I have grown such a thick skin to survive being single in 2021, I've forgotten how people ought to treat each other and have become almost as guilty as the rest of them. Isn't it funny how we become the thing we're trying to avoid? I am so used to not expecting respect or tenderness, I'm no longer projecting them either. This is bad behavior and something I want to remedy, and when “D” invited me to sit next to him on his couch for some sweet talk and after care, my cold exterior melted just a little bit.
We said goodnight, I Ubered home, and the next morning I felt radiant and abuzz. It felt like I had swallowed a potent dose of vitamins. I felt y0ung, alive, and satisfied and for the rest of the day I saw the world through rose-colored glasses.
(Side note: I'm very curious about these women who study tantric sex and drink the sperm of y0unger men to increase their vitality. If you would like me to give a book review and read some excerpts, I'd be happy to! Hint: it's on my Amazon wishlist!
https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Teachings-White-Tigress-Secrets/dp/0892818689)
Some weeks passed. We both had out-of-town trips and couldn't seem to line our schedules up. Part of me was prepared for the usual Austin, Texas dating experience, and assumed I would never see him again. Then one day, with a little irritating yet fortunate stroke of bad/good luck , the dishwasher quit working again. I sent “D” a text and we made a plan for him to come by the next morning he had available. I made coffee, as was becoming our custom, and he did some clever work with his hands over a partially dismantled machine. For a moment, he seemed pleased, closed it up again and hit the start button.
“I need to run it for a while, to make sure it's working. I don't want to leave until I'm sure.
We have some time...”
As I crossed the kitchen to pour myself another cup, he reached out and pulled me close to kiss him. His presence, his brightness, his delicious body, mind and spirit had again invoked a fiery lust inside of me that was a totally a new flavor. It's something only he so far brings out in me – which could be said for every person we feel a connection with – there is a brand new facet of myself that is created when learning how to relate to *him* specifically.
It occurred to me in at that moment, despite being careful not to romanticize or overthink the perfectly casual fun were were having, that he was one of the most physically beautiful people I'd ever been with. I don't usually obsess over how my lovers look, since I'm pansexual, hyper curious about all sorts of types, and good conversation is the hottest thing in the world to me... This guy appeared to have it all, which was intimidating. Fortunately, before the critical voice in my head had a chance to betray me, his love-making style was once again so full-bodied and passionate, it left me in no doubt of his desire! I was swept up into a mutual frenzy as he lifted the soft pink tank top over my head and let it drop.
I like to learn new people like I'm learning a language or contouring a piece of wood to fit and join against another piece of wood. I find joy in the call and response, the action and reaction. Sometimes it's a push and pull between who is leading, who is following, or sometimes it's the awkward crash of two forces, or... when it works, an earth-shattering explosion. We find out when we jump in and take a little taste of each other. The excitement and mystery of the discovery made me snap to that present moment, riding his enthusiasm like a surfer riding a wave, connecting to him as fluently as I could.
He pulled back from kissing me and spun me around, his hands on my hips, pulling me backwards to press against him. Facing forward, I could feel his hand get between us to undo button of his blue gray slacks, which soon fell to the floor. Almost simultaneously he slid my denim shorts and black cotton panties off and I kicked them to the side, where they landed in a heap next to the humming dishwasher. I heard the sound of the condom wrapper, and he rolled the condom on deftly, wasting no time. The dishes had been piling up for a couple of days since the appliance was broken, and as he penetrated me, the force of his body pushed me forward, and I went head first into the sink of dirty dishes, my hair falling into the dishwater, soaking up the soap and grease. I could hardly care at all as he gripped my hips and we found our rhythm. All of the blinds were open, and I could see my neighbors across the street going about their business. Wondering if they could see me, I came twice, ending in unison with him just as “D” likes and strives for. He likes a job well-done, and that applies to more than just his work.
I could hardly even believe it once the moment was over. What an incredible journey I'm on that such a cliché porn scenario with my dishwasher repairman would happen off-the-cuff in my real life! My whole body was ringing with gratitude for that life experience as we said our goodbyes, with waves of lingering thrills for a long while every time I thought about it after.
Post-coital shower thought:
Maybe this is where the term “dishwater blonde” comes from. What do you think?
Hello bunny! 🐰
I’m making great progress on the Dressing Room which will be my new costume/wig storage, going-out-and-dressing-up-makeup room, pre-party lounge and video recording space. Every house needs one, am I right? I promise, more content is coming soon!
Keep yourself entertained for now. You have my permission. 💋 💦
Are you ready for part two of my debaucheries with D, the *dishwasher repairman*? My diary entries shown here didn’t quite say it all, so here’s a bit more...
* cue porn music *
We met for drinks at a great patio bar in east Austin, not too far from his place. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I wanted to look good and feel smooth. I did an excessive amount of shaving, exfoliating, threw on a cute summer dress (you know, to look like I wasn't trying) and prepared for a sultry hang out in the balmy summer evening. He arrived, all smiles and upbeat energy. He told me his history, and my impression of his age of 27 years transformed as I listened, my respect for him growing more with every word.
Something about him made me feel hopeful. I don't mean to say that I had any expectations of what would happen between us, just that the conversation bounced the energy back to me and each time I felt perkier than I did before seeing him. In a world full of draining distractions and psychic vampires, what a rare treat to feel energized by someone!
He invited me back to his place.
Almost the moment we walked through the front door, he came straight up to me and kissed me powerfully. His style was strong, intense, passionate. My body snapped to attention and we became a flurry of vigorous *consent* to the power of one hundred. What's the English word for that? Zealous?
All-consuming.
Or maybe just YES.
Fucking FINALLY.
MORE, MORE, MORE.
It was the first day of my period and I bled all over his mattress. I felt terrible and looked around to no avail for an oxi stain remover laundry spray... until I realized that, oh yeah, mature or not, he's still a guy in his twenties. He laughed, flipped over the mattress, and pulled me into the shower. My makeup washed away and in the full bright white of the bathroom light, we saw each other. Moments of insecurity being naked with this beautiful man couldn't take root. There was far too much frenetic movement between our bodies to doubt any of it for very long.
Under the hot streaming water, we came to a glorious finale and let's just say... I've got a taste for D now.
(to be continued...)
Recently something remarkable happened to me. Something so cliché it shoots well past tasteful erotica and straight into a stereotypical porn set up *in real life*. It's starts about a year ago, with a broken dishwasher.
I searched Yelp until I found a local appliance repair company. "D", a gorgeous y0ung man in his 20s with a delightful Israeli accent came to the house. He fixed the problem with the machine and after a nice little chat, went on his way. I didn't think much about it.
Then, after several months, the dishwasher broke again. I still had "D"'s card stuck to the fridge with a magnet. I texted him and he came back. As he took the thing apart, troubleshooting, we talked. And talked and talked. I was surprised by his maturity, his life experience already at such a y0ung age, and most of all, his bright outlook on life. The conversation flowed easily, and didn't shy away from hard topics while never being a drag.
He identified the problem, a dirty sensor, wiped it down and reset the dishwasher. The machine was apparently fixed. We said our goodbyes once more.
I loaded the dirty dishes, threw in the detergent, and turned it on. It started to run a cycle, but then stopped, and a light began flashing to announce some mysterious error. The momentary annoyance with the delay faded when I realized I could call "D" back! He promised to return as soon as he could.
I didn't have to wait long. He was back and filling up the kitchen with his bright, youthful energy once more. We talked about books and the conversation became playfully philosophical. The error had something to do with the water not being properly drained before attempting to run it again. It only took him minutes to sort it out. Bummer.
As he was heading toward the front door, he turned back to me and said, "Well, since I fixed your dishwasher maybe we should finish this conversation over a drink." I was stunned. Yes, he was gorgeous and we had such a nice banter together, which is the hottest thing in the world to me, but... (looks around the room) who, me?
I smiled like I wasn't totally in shock and said YES. We made tentative plans, and he left the house with a grin.
to be continued...
Are you dirty? Trick question; you're here, so of course you are! 👹🖤💦
Wanna take a shower with me?
I think this might be the best picture of my ass that I've ever taken by myself, pressed against my shower door, as well as a funny little video which is the most naked, raw and candid one I've shared with you so far! 💥💥💥
Enjoy your morning!
I've been flipping through the many journals kept over the years, mulling over everything I've learned in the sweaty tangled limbs of humanity.
Here's a sweet little entry that I had almost forgotten about...
“I was pulled away from journaling by (shhhhh), who pursued me fairly directly and became my carver trip boyfriend for the week. He was very helpful and pretty loving. We had a nice, easy physical chemistry and enjoyed every evening together (except the night I landed). He almost told me he loved me. Although we are far too different to date, he made me feel really feminine, despite the bar and chain oil in my hair. He smelled good and he knew how to touch me. I think we both needed the attention.”
Recently he reached out to me, and I was fairly cold to him, which I'm regretting severely right now. The impression of that week way back when had faded in my memory, and the only part that remained was “too different to date,” which wasn't the spirit of the experience with him. This is why I like to write - it's freezes moments, thoughts, feelings in time.
I would text an apology, but 1:46 am only means one thing, right? 🍆
This weekend @eladarling came over for a super brainy session in the sun. We got a lot of planning done for our Onlyfans creator club we’re initiating (this is a lie, but we had fun). I have the best meetings in pools! ☀️ 🏊♀️
As I was just saying in my last post (and oops! I'm a day late on the follow up to that thought), I get super worked up when I'm playing on Onlyfans. Posting photos that inspire sexual energy in the viewer who then tells me (sometimes in great detail) about the reaction they cause only inspires more sexual energy on my side, so I feel compelled to share even more. Each subscriber is a little window of connection and energy exchange and there are more every day. Despite having interacted with online community most of my adult life, I've never experienced anything like *this place*; this kind of attention at this scale before. It's exhilarating!
After the impromptu live stream the other night and all of the delicious feedback that made me feel really good, taking my clothes off to go to bed was flavored with a sweet sense of desire. Here's a frame-by-frame strip tease that I would love for you to see. You inspired it, after all. <3
PS. My phone is currently smashed and super outdated, so please forgive the lo-fi look. I'm in the process of convincing myself to upgrade to a new iPhone for the sake of the camera alone. Feel free to double dare me.
As I mentioned in the recent live stream, the response to that last PPV post really surprised me. I was riding a bit of a manic wave of creativity and productivity, which woke up my sex drive and I felt compelled to share myself with you here. As the encouraging comments and the DMs started flowing in, the wave of attention only intensified my arousal. It kept me awake until 4 am, reading and replying to dirty messages. The back and forth wound me up so much that I had to stop and take a few breaks to fully work through my excitement and finally fall asleep, satiated.
I have something fun for you tomorrow... can't wait to share with you again!
Hello honey bunny! 🐰
It's been a stretch since I checked in here so tonight I turned the live stream on for a bit and did a tarot card reading (Thoth deck by Aleister Crowley 👹 that a new crush recommended to me) for everyone who showed up including myself simultaneously. We share one fortune and one secret desire... watch to find out!
I'm overcome by a huge desire to show myself to you tonight! 👀 🔥
It was a busy, highly productive day which made me feel good about myself and I want to share and connect. There’s an especially dirty boomerang video in this set which is a little further than I’ve teased so far... 😻 Onlyfans’s fumbled porn ban and panicky change of heart has me feeling hyper and wilder than usual tonight and I reallllly want you to see. Maybe we can mutually inspire each other.
Cum take a look! 💦
I found these adorable naked lady cards which will be perfect for a party I’m planning - an Onlyfans creators’ mixer and clothing swap! I want to hang out with some confident, sexy people and plan some collabs! Anyway, here’s the first step to something I’ve been thinking about lately.
What is your favorite finger food at a party? I need some ideas!
Here's a little video update reacting to the news about Onlyfans changing its policies in October. I filmed it about an hour ago, got a bit turned on talking about breeding, then decided to strip down and take a bath. Would you like to see?
Behind the paywall, you'll find a several dirty photos and boomerangs. It's a good series for seeing some very candid rolls of flesh, a few wrinkles and scars. Some of you have been curious about my scars so, despite being nervous to show them, here they are to satisfy curiosity. There's also some open mouth, tongue and kitty teasing... I really hope you enjoy. And don't forget to tell me in great detail if you do!
Hello! Sorry I fell into a bit of an introspective pit after a wild trip to upstate New York to get some work done on my new homestead. Here’s a pic I took in the cute cabin I rented while I was there. I’m in a happy, generous mood today so here’s some naked butt, on the house. 😘🤗
My land 😁🤪 and surrounding area is absolutely gorgeous and inspiring, with wild turkey flocks, lots of water and cute little crawdads. 🦞 The one I saw was missing a pincer. It's everything I was looking for!
🌲🤩🌲
What's the biggest dream of your life, and how would you feel if you suddenly found yourself in the middle of it? I feel like that right now! It is slowly sinking in that I can finally get started on this massive creative project that I’ve been daydreaming about since I was ten years old.
Right now I'm thinking hard about who I want to bring along on the journey and with whom I will be sharing the place and the businesses on it. Get into bed with, financially speaking. It's exciting and super flattering to have people coming out of the woodwork to try and support the vision. It's just *really important* to write out what that vision is and listen to my gut as to who will fit and who won't. Sharing means letting go of total control, and that's a big fear of mine, especially lately.
However, I am absolutely sick of working (mostly) alone as a solo freelancer. I want to create something larger with a community of people, and that requires some *people skills*. Yikes! I had better start practicing.
How are YOU feeling today? 😁💓
*The Amazon wishlist items are starting to arrive and I'll be incorporating them into the offerings here!* These panties make me think of getting it on with Wolverine... not the first time I've fantasized about that. (Actually, I'll take Hugh Jackman playing any character, any day.) Behind the paywall are some high quality photos of my see-thru green shirt, as well as *SOME NAKED BOOTY* that has been requested again and again.
I really hope you enjoy these! Check out my wishlist if you'd like to contribute to my wild lifestyle.
Photos by Matt Charnitski, IG - @mattcharnitski
-------------------
I've been thinking a lot about the cyclical nature of relationships and how to find meaning in the madness. The societal templates we've been given don't come with clear instructions on how to really love someone, how to grow together and stay together. While there definitely are observable patterns that occur that have been described through literature, art and entertainment for hundreds of years (the rush of the honeymoon phase, the seven year itch, the break up, the make up, the murder/suicide, etc) each combination of humans interacting is its own thing, a special culture between the participating individuals. A successful relationship doesn't even necessarily mean length of time since some people are very good at tolerating misery. There is no secret formula... and the backdrop that all of us are working against is changing everyday.
"Making it work" IS work. Part of the problems facing couples, thruples, relationship anarchists and poly constellations (more on that later) is that as the world gets used to more and more immediate gratification, hard work is going out of fashion. Also, societies are changing. Y0ung adults tend to move away from their extended families and make their own choices now without their influence. More people are living alone. I heard a news report recently that was all about how grocery stores aren't supplying nearly as many "Family Size" options and meals are becoming individually packaged to fit the increasing number of single member households. Yeah I should probably cite that report... but this is Onlyfans and I just got acrylic nails that are making typing very difficult as it is.
Hello you sexy beast.
I've been on a whirlwind trip in New York so I'm sorry if my communication has been spotty. I'll try to check my DMs after today's long drive through Vermont! Also, tomorrow I'll be posting that latest photoset with the translucent green shirt, and I also am starting to incorporate some of the lovely gifts I've received from the wishlist!
The last several days have been highly emotional. I'm beginning to visualize my life as a future east-coaster and major changes are coming... which is GREAT, but also a bit overwhelming. I've already been living on an ever shifting reality the past five years and I can't wait to get 225 acres of solid Earth under me. I can't wait to dig in, literally.
Here's my mantra / quote to meditate on today.
“The only constant in life is change”-Heraclitus
I don't know that I love this idea, but it's true and there's not much any of us can do about it. What about you?
Here’s a dirty snapshot of my mood today. I took this pic this morning before I had coffee or anything. Messy hair, don’t care! For those of you who like candid, topless photos with *no makeup*, you might really like this one! 👹
I'm still not over the fun I had exploring the fantasy I had been having about being tied up in the shibari style by Joey Ortega! @la_convoitise_des_yeux
While still reeling from the experience, I had a private conversation in DMs with one of my top supporters who asked me to describe what happened next after being wrapped in rope. He was kind enough to let me share our chat with you. If you're curious, read on!
(You can see the photos from the experience here: https://onlyfans.com/170062751/griffonramsey)
Several years ago, I happened upon some startling erotic photos of women tied up in artful knots on Pinterest. It's called “shibari” and has its origins in Japan. I was spellbound by the skill and the beauty, not to mention the visceral response to seeing a naked body tightly bound. Immediately I wanted so very much to be ensnared myself. I fantasized about someone making art with my body and how it would feel to let them bind me. And yesterday, I finally had the opportunity! Joey Ortega @la_convoitise_des_yeux, badass tattooer (see my last live stream recording), artist, craftsman, fetish accessory designer and service Dom, also happens to be a shibari artist! He's pretty much a one-stop-shop of wantonness and he invited me over to his house to give me a first taste of his world.
I've tangled with a handful of self-described Doms before, and played with restraints, but never full body restriction leaving me completely vulnerable. For someone who loves her freedom and being in control, I do get a shameful kick out of being captured and rendered helpless. And there is just something about rope... maybe it's the way it's created with many smaller cords of twisted twine, held together by the tension of opposition (I can relate to building a kind of strength with contradictions since I'm a devil's advocate). But basically, I just love the look of rope, the feel of it, the smell of it. It's a poetically primitive tool. It's iconic. Rope is the demise of every melodrama heroine on the train tracks, crying for help (note to self: that would be a fun photo series).
Joey explained to me that he chose this particular kind of rope, hasegawa jute, because the natural fibers help with the friction in the ties. He specially prepared the rope by “breaking” it, then saturating it with oil and baking it for a short amount of time. The oil made the ropes feel slightly waxy, and gave them a strong, wonderfully earthy scent. I liked the way they felt on my bare skin.
He asked me to close my eyes and just *feel*.
I followed his instruction and in the darkness every sensation intensified. I could feel his fingers deftly, but roughly, winding the rope around wrists and ankles, arms and legs, entwining around my body and in between the coils and constricted body parts, knotting here, looping there. Occasionally, either he or the rope would pinch me painfully as he worked a careful tautness. I discovered small joyful moments, between the uncomfortable ones, when the bumpy ridges of the rope would rub and tickle my skin as it was pulled through and around to form the next whorl.
Joey moved me through several transitions of contorted poses. In some positions, my legs looked like sausages, wrapped tightly in string. He crisscrossed the rope around my chest, arms, neck and breasts and pinned my arms to my back. I could feel him looping the rope behind me, creating a connection between the nape of my neck and my bound wrists. As he threaded the rope from there to the metal ring in the beam in his ceiling, I felt a huge wave of excitement and anticipation as the rope when taut. Next came the legs, one at a time, until I was suspended in the air. The rope tightened around my whole body and *squeezed* me, the star pattern across my chest almost, but not quite, ch🖤king me. I expected it to hurt more than it did. It wasn't nothing, but it wasn't bad. It was interesting to experience and endure it, and float for a moment, spinning slowly in the air.
I could keep writing about all of the little things that Joey did to me with his instruments of t🖤rture, but I'd rather save that for another time... until then, I hope you appreciate these photos from my first shibari adventure! *Also there is a sweet feet pic in this set for my feet peeps!*
(P.S. There were a few that were just a little too much for me to put out on the internet since the ropes do strange things to the look of the body, but the exhibitionist in me simply has to show someone... 👁 so I will be sending a little DM to anyone who has spent more than $100 on my OF page!)
photos by Joey Ortega
Today I let Joey Ortega aka @la_convoitise_des_yeux tie me up and t🖤rture me gently using shibari techniques. You can see some of the marks the ropes left!
It was my first time and such a rush I wanna do it again! Check back tomorrow and I will *show and tell* you more...
