PART 2
I wrote to my ex Sasha. He said he went to another city, but I can go to his friends who are now in his apartment.
I was in such a state that I couldn't decide what I needed to take with me. I forgot my credit card, but for some reason I took tarot cards, a book on the history of ancient Greece and 3 notebooks. For some reason, I didn't take underwear, a sweater, comfortable shoes. I did not assume that I would return home in 3 months.
I walking to the subway I was scared, it seemed that a rocket should arrive here at any second. In the underpass towards the subway, crowds of people were sitting on the floor. I went to the subway for free, people settled at many stations. The subway felt very different. Minibuses did not go, I walked to the suburbs, along the road. A tank with soldiers was coming towards me, I was responding to messages in correspondence.
I reached the gathering point of my ex's friends, everyone looked confused.
We went to a supermarket in the suburbs, I transferred 500 UAH to canned food by phone. At first, we often bought canned food just in case.
I found myself in the company of people, many of whom I had seen a couple of times before. My ex rented a room to Bodya, and later, with him, his girlfriend Anya and boy Pasha, we will spend 3 months together.
Before that, we joined the volunteer movement. The restaurant "Fortress" has developed a lot of activity. The volunteers settled there, in the common room, slept on the floor mats. During the day I worked in the kitchen (which I hadn't done before, I don't even like to cook). Peeling potatoes, making sandwiches, etc. I talked to other volunteers incessantly (I'm usually shy and don't talk so much).
In the evening and in the morning, I made posts here and on the blog, with much more activity than before. At the same time, I had my period for about a week, I couldn't go to the to ilet normally and lost weight dramatically, my stomach was constantly aching.
There was a rumor about nuclear weapons, about the siege of my city. There were loud explosions every night.
Bodya said that his family has a house in the Cherkasy region, it is safer there and we can go there.
Pasha didn't want to go because he liked volunteering. I played tarot solitaire (the first and last time I used fortune-telling on this trip), "new opportunities" fell out in the option to leave and we decided to go. It took us a long time to get to the village because of roadblocks and frequent stops. When we arrived at the house in the village, I realized that the house is heated from the stove, the water is only in the well. I didn't bring any tools for work, I have almost no things and the Internet catches only on the street. I felt confused and a sense of unreality of what was happening. I thought that when I fell asleep, I would wake up at home.
Continued tomorrow…
Hi! This story, although it begins gloomy, in the end, it will be about how we are united by common work. About support. And about the good in simple.
I I must say, I have a difficult time now, because I have a prostration. And there is no strength to work. Bad circle. Now I only have the strength to analyze the last months and remember what happened. It can be interesting for you to read my story in its entirety. There will be several posts.
PART 1
A strange coincidence, on the evening of February 23, I did makeup in the color of the Ukrainian flag - blue eyeliner and yellow shadows. In this look, I worked at night and at 5 in the morning, talking on Chaturbate. When I heard loud noises, I froze, quietly said into the microphone, "I hear explosions, I'm scared." I looked out the window, I didn't see anything. Then said, "I'm switching off, I need to read the news, I don't understand what's going on."
I went to Facebook and scrolled through the posts in the feed: "do you hear this too?". So it wasn't my imagination.
At that time, my boyfriend had a difficult night. Earlier, at 2 o'clock (the same night), he wrote to me, "mom called, says that grandpa is dying, I'm going to the suburbs tomorrow." This is the same grandfather he told me about even on our first date, an important person for him, who replaced father to him.
At 6 a.m. we wrote off and I find out from him that Russia had attacked. We got on the phone. He made the decision to go to his family right now. I was worried because it seemed a dangerous decision for him: there might not be minibuses, he would walk and come under fire. But he had to go. I rent an apartment with my neighbors. Without saying goodbye, they also left and left the lights on in the corridor.
At 10 a.m. he got there. I've been reading the news all this time. I was very worried because the dead appeared in his city and the military unit suffered, Zhenya disappeared for 2 hours without communication, I wrote him messages with exclamation marks. He write that he was near the military unit, everything is fine with him.
I wrote several times in the comments to Russian bloggers that they should draw attention to what is happening, and they constantly banned me.
I corresponded in different chat rooms. Acquaintances from abroad asked what was going on. A lot of parallel correspondence, continuous news.
At 11-12 in the morning, I remembered that I hadn't eaten anything for a long time. I went to the supermarket and saw a queue only at the entrance, going outside the store. People came out with 2-3 carts of food and water. I was too tired to stand for so long. I didn't sleep at night, I was hungry and excited.
Knowing myself, I realized that I needed to go to the pharmacy. I stood in line, bought tranquilizers with an expired prescription. I took pills at home and slept until the next morning.
The situation with the supermarket was repeated. I got a nervous rash on my face. I realized that I couldn't handle being alone.
Today I woke up again from 4 powerful explosions at 6 am. The last few days I even had strange thoughts... About the fact that when the war started, I had a surge of strength to go somewhere and volunteer. Now the power is gone. I just read the news, find out pretty quickly what area it's in, and try to get back to sleep.
One of the rockets fell into a kindergarten. Good thing no one was there. But I still cry when I see the photo. It's probably the depressive phase.
The last few days I have no strength at all. To be honest, I don't know how to work. Energy drinks and coffee don't work for me.
I would like to get to the doctor and take at least a bl ood test to understand what is happening with my body.
Hugging you. Sorry for the sad post.
My traditional solstice rituals. I believe in the therapeutic power of magic. Our un conscious perceives the language of images best of all. Therefore, I allow myself non-scientific actions that help me feel better. Do you practice some magic?
Does sex spoil friendship?
There is a popular opinion that sex will spoil the friendship between a man and a woman. Why spoil it? Because then everything will become very unclear. The watershed will be crossed, before which there was no sex, and here it already was.
And often there is everything before this watershed: the pleasure of meetings and communication, jokes understandable only to you, light flirting, light sexual tension, fantasies. But there is no sex.
Why? As long as the next step is sex, then everything is clear. You don't take this step and that's it. And if he did? After sex, everything becomes very unclear. It is unclear what to do next. Start dating as a couple? Or just have sex sometimes? Or pretend that there was no sex? Or was, but it was an accident and it won't happen again. Friends don't fuck, do they? Or yes?
In general, friendship is the foundation of all relationships. It is from friendship that healthy love relationships flow. Friendship is the foundation. And, if you are ready to go from friendship to a relationship, then sex will definitely not spoil it.
But if you are not ready, then you just need to decide whether you have a place for friendly sex or not.
Self-love.
What's this about?
How can you answer this question?
For me it is:
1. Take care of and take care of your body: eat when hungry, rest when tired, give reasonable exercise, dress according to the weather, take care of your body (hygiene, beauty), create physically comfortable living conditions (comfortable bed, workplace, light, cleanliness, etc.)
2. Cherish and take care of your feelings.
To act based primarily on their desires.
Ask yourself the questions "what do I want?" and "what do I feel?"
When making decisions, do not take responsibility for other people's feelings.
To give an outlet to emotions, not to block, not to clamp. Here we still need to learn how to live emotions in an eco-friendly way, but that's another question.
Work with a psychotherapist. This is 100% about self-love for me. But maybe not everyone needs it.
To know what brings you joy and happiness. Please yourself. Make yourself happy.
3. Take care of and take care of your brain.
To develop constantly, to learn something new, to master new skills, to strive for goals. Yes, at least read books, it doesn't matter. The brain always needs development.
The most important thing is to accept yourself as you are, not excluding work on yourself.
After all, those whom we love, we love them with all the flaws.
And for you, "self-love" is about what?
Better than orgasm?
Yesterday I came across a article-discussion of the post from the Reddit: there people answered the question “what could be better than an orgasm?". There were quite funny options, but the pulp itself was waiting for me all on the same Redite. It turned out that this question was asked by forum members repeatedly, and I brought you the funniest answers.
So, things that are better than an orgasm:
repaid mortgage;
to hear from the one you miss the most that he is proud of you;
win the lottery;
the sense of accomplishment that comes with achieving a goal;
pancakes;
a combination of red wine, cocaine and nipple clamps;
cold cola in the heat;
two orgasms😄;
have a good sneeze;
that first sip of coffee in the morning;
squeeze out a huge ripe pimple;
fucking joke, making a bunch of people laugh;
take off a size D+ bra at the end of the day in summer;
8 hours of uninterrupted blessed sleep;
when you're finally alone and you can scratch your balls;
a large bubble wrap that has never burst before;
urinate after being patient for a very, very, very long time;
a sip of cold water for a severe hangover;
skydiving;
poking around with a cotton swab in the ear.
Leave your options in the comments 😏
Be in love. Text to think about.
I really understand what it's like to live with a person who has a different approach to intimacy. And a slightly different perception of the relationship. What if he/she never changes? And what if he/she does not have a request for disclosure of sensuality?
And what if we metaphorically outline our relationship, what kind of image will it be? And what if it will also be different, as it were, schemes, algorithms of our relations? What will they have in common? Like a general line. And what else is repetitive? What doesn't fit together between us and what does?
What if we learned to accept an unfamiliar attitude towards us as desirable?
For example, in our village, everyone is used to greeting with bast shoes. And my partner from the villages of the north pulls his little finger every time. And I think, wow, they didn't say hello to me like that, it's cool.
What if you don't need to learn the partner's love language and don't want him to manifest his love language? What if we should learn to accept the other as something new and unusual that we haven't dealt with yet? And to love a partner the way we are used to, and he accepts it as new and unusual? ) And within this, it is already consistent, like water and fire..
Well, think about it, if we love ourselves, as we used to. And then they love us in a way we're not used to - it's cool) So we do not lose anything, but gain.
And in sex as well. This is a very unusual approach when we do not create something in the middle of the hospital, do not remake ourselves/ partner. And we just agree on different things, creating a new one.
I'm talking from my bell tower.
What do I need to feel attractive?
- clean head. Literally, with dirty hair fu. Sometimes I also like to make a curling iron.
- well-fitting clean clothes. So that it doesn't drag anywhere, it doesn't hang and without spots (I'm not a piggy, but you never know)
- pleasant smell. This is primarily about the natural smell, but also about dezik/perfume too.
- good health and mood. Sick or depressed - well, such a thing
- clean skin. With this, in general, I was lucky in genetics, if I eat adequately, then the skin is clean. But still, sometimes no, no, yes, some bullshit will come out. The feeling of attractiveness decreases.
- light makeup adds to my attractiveness. But in fact, it's generally in last place. I can feel super sexy without makeup.
In general, everything. Well, another day of the cycle affects.
In PMS, the world is not nice to me, but in ovulation I flutter like a bird.
A chic dress or a bum-style - it doesn't matter for my inner sense of attractiveness.
We are discussing women today.
Men, an attractive girl - what is she like?
I found it on the Internet, and I can't help but share it with you
Anal plugs were originally marketed as a miracle cure for headaches, acne and mental disorders.
In the 19th century, they were called "Dr. Yang's rectal dilators". They were used in medicine to treat a variety of diseases.
According to Dr. Yang himself, this tool for expanding the rectum can cure insanity. Moreover, 3 out of 4 patients with this mental disorder reported that the device cured them after several weeks of use.
Dr. Yang claimed that the rectal dilator also eliminates bad breath, acne, anemia, insomnia, anorexia, headaches, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, indigestion, nervousness, irritability and other ailments.
I read the test "What mushroom are you?" :))
"Imagine that you have become a mushroom. After that, you again became a man. So Mushroom, what kind of man you are?"
1) Strange neighbor with occult tattoos on the face.
2) A funny guy, at the same time similar to Lynch and Benny Hill.
3) A cheerful fat man who walks naked around the apartment.
4) A terrible type with a linen on the eye, which stare at you through the whole bar.
What do you need for perfect sex?
❤️ Physical chemistry. This is the base. Without her, sex is plastic, no matter how experienced and technically skilled both partners are.
Although, I noticed that men do not always notice the lack of chemistry, they are quite satisfied with the technically perfect part of the process. Such as a skillful throat, the presence of an orgasm in a woman (even if this orgasm is purely a physiological discharge for her, without waaaaa), ease in changing poses, lack of shyness.
I won't speak for all women, but personally, I don't have a technically savvy experienced partner if I don't have a rabid animal chemistry on him so that I want to kiss and lick him from head to toe and back. I need the roof to fly off, the brain to melt and I wanted anything, any perversions without borders, shyness and disgust. In my experience, this is possible only if there is a strong chemistry, namely animal, physical. Plus admiration for him as a person and trust.
The most interesting thing is that until you me et these feelings, you can calmly fuck and enjoy ordinary sex without chemistry. Sometimes you feel a little better, sometimes a little worse, but, in general, - OK.
But if you have met and lived in this chemistry for several years - that's it, there is no turning back and "just sex" with technically experienced good partners becomes like after covid, without taste and smell.
But, the difficulty is that finding partners who turn on this chemistry is not so fast and not so easy. Also, so that the person turned out to be normal and did not break your life. Because fucking sex is one thing, and a relationship with someone who gives you this very sex is quite another. Our animal and social parts are not always friends with each other and, sometimes, problems arise.
And what if a person is insanely interesting, but there is no chemistry? It's happened to me. I have never regretted such sex, it has always been a positive experience. And this, again, is more important than experience, technique or appearance for me. But there was still not enough passion in him.
The coincidence of temperament and sexual constitution. If one has already had enough, and the second is still not enough - so-so story.
The coincidence of all sexual preferences and perversions. Although, if point 1 is followed, then there are usually no problems here and everything turns out somehow by itself, at least I noticed that from my experience.
Therefore, when I read blogs about men's pickup (yes, I read this), I want to say: "Guys, all you need is not to learn all these tricks and manipulations, but just to find a girl who will turn on chemistry for you. All. However, for this it is very useful to greatly increase the number of acquaintances and contacts. And, at the same time, throw out all prejudices. When chemistry turns on, sex can easily happen 2-3 hours after dating. Do not offend the girl by writing her down as a "whore" for this - so you can miss the diamond.
No matter how much you study sex, what poses and techniques you would not have mastered, if there is no chemistry, it will all be honed, but automatic and rather useless gestures. Only those who have never met "chemistry" will be able to evaluate them.
The question arises: "And if chemistry turned on some stupid goblin?"
So don't go on dates with dumb goblins. Now almost everyone gets to know each other online - this is a great opportunity to weed out such characters at the correspondence stage. To learn values, to study the coincidence of interests, tastes, life goals. And at the me eting, just check the chemistry.
This is also not a guarantee that everything will be perfect, but exactly what will be remembered and ashamed to tell 🤪
Have you ever had chemistry in your life?
SWINGERS are some sick perverts who fuck with everyone.
Let me explain the difference between different poly-formats.
Swingers are divided into open, closed, with and without exchange, with incomplete exchange.
🍓Outdoor swing sex only all together in the 1st room. These can be FMFM, FMF, MFM and other options.
🍓Closed swing - 2 couples of change partners and spend time in different rooms.
🍓Swing without exchange - 2 couples get together and each has sex with his partner, watching the second couple.
Perfect for beginner swingers.
🍓Swing with partial (incomplete) exchange - for example, 2 F have lesbian sex, and then each M joins his F. Or any other combinations.
🍓Sex-life is a format in which the wife has different lovers and me ets them without her husband, the husband knows about them, can help prepare for dates. And later he likes to listen to the details of the me eting. Photo and video reports from the scene are often practiced.
🍓Hot-vife - prefer mainly MFM
🍓 Ko-quin (Ku-quin) is the wife of a walking husband who is excited by his infidelities. But I'm not sure if they exist in practice. In fact, half the country tolerates cheating husbands, but for some reason they suffer at the same time. I wonder if they suffer while getting high, or do they really suffer?
🍓Kukold is a confusion with this term. Someone calls all the husbands of sex-vife dolls. And someone is a masochist who enjoys humiliation, licking the sperm of lovers from his wife. The options for humiliation can be different.
Personally, I prefer to designate masochists as puppeteers.
🍓Open relationships - everything is possible in a couple: separate dates, and joint orgies, the main thing is to be consistent and open, without cheating.
🍓Polyamores - can love several people at once and be in a relationship with everyone.
Of all these formats, polyamorous is the farthest from me. I can't imagine where to find time and opportunities for relationships with everyone in the "love" format.
I am definitely a one-lover. But I think I could fall in love with a girl, parallel to a man. Superficially: a light hobby, without drama and plans for the future.
Falling in love with 2 men at the same time is definitely not about me. Unless, if I have already started falling in love with one, continuing to love the previous one... But 2 weeks is usually enough for feelings for one of them to displace feelings for the other.
Have you tried any of the above?
